Changes in the Coming Year

I want to say a hearty thank you to all of you wonderful readers for a great 2011! As you know, we've made changes such as adding contributors this year and a six day posting schedule.

If you are stopping by this week, you might be a little confused. We have changed the name of the blog from Joy Ever After to Cherish the Call. We felt it was best to have our own domain name as well as a title a little more descriptive of our mission here. If you forget and visit the old Joy Ever After URL, you should be re-directed. Please be patient with us as we change over our feeds and Facebook page and tweak the page design. You may still see the name Joy Ever After for a little while as we make the transition.

We will be adding a few monthly contributors to which I will introduce to you a little later on. We will also be exploring a few new topics like large families and ministry wives and frugality as well as occasional posts on homeschooling and health.

Please send us your e-mails and comments with any suggestions to make your reading here at Cherish the Call better. We seek to bring you encouragement in your walk with the Lord and your fulfilling His call upon your life.

Have a blessed New Year! We will be back soon!

Weekend Reflections (and some Announcements!)

Looking Back...

Doreen was not only our entrant for the Best Buy Gift Card, but she was also the winner of the Grand Prize! We're so glad a Joy Ever After reader got to win! Congratulations, Doreen!

The winner of Passionate Housewives will be announced in a separate post by Jessica.

Here's what we talked about this week:

• Why neither you or your husband can sit on the bench in the parenting game
• How to manage all the Christmas gifts your kids receive
• Why we celebrate Christmas
• Are your kids worshiping Santa or the Savior?
• How we celebrate Christmas

 From the Archives...

• How to Make Time to Read This Year

Looking Ahead...
We have a lot of exciting changes coming up in the new year! We are going to spend next week working on them, so there won't be any new posts next week. All posts will stay the same, but we are changing the name of the blog (you'll have to check back after New Year's Day to see what we came up with!). If you go to the Joy Ever After site, you should be redirected to the new one. We'll work out all the bugs, and let you know if you need to change things in your reader or e-mail subscription so you don't miss any post updates.

We will be adding new contributors and a few new topics in the new year as well. In the spirit of simplifying my life, I am merging my real food blog with this one. Don't worry, I won't be talking about health all the time! It will just be included in our list of topics and you will be able to access my past posts on health and real food from this blog.

If you are interested in doing a guest post or having us review one of your products in 2012, please send me an e-mail. I'd be happy to consider your post or product!

From all of us here at Joy Ever After, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We will be back January 2 with our new (and hopefully improved!) blog!


Link up with us!
Copy a link to your favorite post from your blog (not your home page URL, please!) this week into the comment box below. We'd love to check it out!

How We Celebrate Christmas

Traditional images of children waking their parents up at 5:00 A.M. and dragging them to the Christmas tree do not happen in our home. First of all, my kids love to sleep in. Before you get jealous, let me hasten to add that the older three sometimes like to whisper until 10:30 P.M.; and the baby likes to wake up and cry for no good reason at intervals during the night.

The second reason that we don't go by traditional early morning tearing into presents is that we are rarely here on Christmas morning. Since we have two other places to be during the season---with my family and with my husband's family---we are often traveling or away from home on the actual day. If we are home Christmas morning, I am usually finishing up food for Christmas dinner so we can leave for one of the grandparents' houses.

Jerrod 2009 Christmas

 Our Christmas morning (even if it is another day or at night) consists of gathering around the tree with Daddy reading Luke 2 or Matthew 1 from the big Bible. Then, the kids open their gifts first; and we open ours last. When it's time to travel, we listen to A Christmas Carol by Focus on the Family Radio Theatre on the car radio.

The most hectic Christmas celebration is at my husband's parents' home. The main reason is there are 8 (soon to be 9) grandchildren all opening gifts from 2 sets of aunts and uncles and their grandparents at once. Trying to sort it all out when they are done requires great skill especially when only one of them has girl toys. We enjoy a Christmas dinner on the years we are there on Christmas day of ham, mashed potatoes and noodles and all the trimmings usually including Mom Self's Dutch Apple Pie. I usually take my Cranberry Salad and a cheesecake. Here's the one I'm taking this year:

Candy Cane Swirl Cheesecake

My parents' house is only slightly more calm since we have only 4 (soon to be 5!) kids there. Christmas dinner, when we are there for it, usually consists of spiral-sliced ham, hash brown casserole and all the trimmings usually including one of Mom Davis' Vanilla Peanut Butter pies in a meringue crust. Eggnog and waldorf salad are family traditions passed down from my dad's family. We usually play games through the day while the kids enjoy their gifts.

Jeffery 2009 Christmas

As I mentioned in our activities post, we like to keep things simple. The kids get so many gifts for Christmas, so I like it best when all these celebrations are spaced out over a week or more. That way we can process all the gifts and find places for them before a new batch comes in! We haven't reached Ann's or Stacy's simplicity yet, but we have cut down on the gifts we personally buy. We try to buy a few quality gifts that will last all year (and beyond) both by not breaking and by being used often.

So that's Christmas for the Selfs! Check out these other blogs to see how they celebrate Christmas:

Judy @ Contented at Home
Joanna @ The LaVans
Jessica @ It's the Little Things

Winner of "Passionate Housewives"

The winner of Passionate Housewives is....

Judy @ Contented at Home. 

Congratulations Judy!

Please email your address to me at jgeise3(at)yahoo(dot)com and I'll get your book out ASAP! I hope it's a blessing to you. 

What is the Focus of your Home this Christmas?

As we near Christmas, my thoughts turned to the reason for the Season. So many times in the world we live in, the focus is so out of kilter. The stores blare "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", they advertise dancing Santas, they push the big gifts, and overall they draw our attention away from the true meaning of Christmas. It's all around us and if we're not careful, we can get caught up in it too.

However, we have to decide where the focus of our home is going to be this Season. Recently, I had a lady tell me that when her children were growing up, they always made it a point to tell them about how Santa brings them their presents, and encouraged them to ask Santa for the things they wanted. One year, the older children "broke the news" to the younger ones that there really wasn't a Santa Claus. She looked me right in the face, as serious as can be, and told me how the older ones had to be punished that year because they "no longer believed". Sad isn't it? I wonder what would happen in our homes if parents put as much emphasis on believing in the TRUE reason for Christmas as they do the FAKE? I believe that our children deserve the real thing and not this cheap imitation. Children catch on to things much faster than we think, and what does that teach them when they discover that mommy and daddy have been lying to them all these years?

Not too long ago, one of the children in our van ministry asked that very thing. He said, "If the Bible tells us 'Thou Shalt Not Lie', then how's come all these parents lie and tell their kids there's a Santa Claus when there really isn't? Good question isn't it? Do we want our homes to be a place where truth abounds? Or are we going to follow the flow around us and spout the lies?

Jesus came as a baby in a lowly manger; to grow up and live as we do; to face the things that we face; and to die on a rugged cross to pay the price for our sins. It is because HE CAME that we have hope. It is because HE CAME that we have forgiveness of our sins. It is because HE CAME that we can have Eternal life. Then why settle for the cheap version?

This Christmas, let's make JESUS the focus of our homes.

The True Meaning of Christmas

At Christmas, so many things are vying for our attention. In the midst of the celebrating and fun, let's not forget Who came that day so long ago...and why He came. He was the greatest Gift ever given. He was our sacrifice. Our Savior. There is simply no way that we can comprehend the true meaning behind what He did for us. We'll never fully understand the sacrifice He made. Our minds can't grasp that kind of love. How can we not give ourselves in return? 

The True Meaning of Christmas


Jesus Christ was born this day

So many years before

He came a servant to the lost

Though he was Lord of Lords

We celebrate this joyous time

Reflecting on His birth

Not born in a mansion, but a stable

As if He had no worth

He came so He could identify

With the human heart of man

And gave His life as a sacrifice

Offering a better plan

A plan that reconciles us back 

To our loving Father God

Bringing hope and redemption from

Sins ruling iron rod

For this is the only reason that we 

Should celebrate this day

To become focused on anything else

Would take the meaning away

So let's arise with joy in our hearts

And share it with everyone

The meaning of Christmas will always be

The birth of Jesus -- God's son

                                                     
                                                      © By M.S.Lowndes
                                                        

Wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas,

What To Do With All of These Gifts!?

Have you entered our current giveaway? It ends Thursday at 9 pm! 

Christmas is only days away (Hey!I said that without hyperventilating!) and the excitement will soon reach a fevered pitch at our house. Inevitably, my children will receive more gifts than they need, and, also inevitably, I'll have to find room for their new treasures. (Uh-oh. Somebody hand me a paper bag....!)

To prepare for this, I try to do a clean-out during the month before Christmas. I have a pretty good idea of what they're getting from their Mammaw and Pappaw and, of course, I know what they're getting from their daddy and I so, with that in mind, I go through their toys and clothes and try to get rid of enough of the "old", that the new things will already have a place ready for them before the gifts are even opened. (For some reason, the children find it easier to part with items when they know that good things await on Christmas morning!) I'll take everything and sort it; some to go to the thrift store, some to consignment, and some to a friend.

There have been Christmases when my children were nearly overwhelmed with Christmas presents. Because we didn't want our children to become spoiled and ungrateful my husband and I began cutting back long ago on the amount of gifts that we gave them (which wasn't always real hard...most of the time it was out of necessity).  Still, especially when all the grandparents were living, the children got way more than they should have. And, when one family member in particular was coming for visits quite often, they were nearly buried alive with gifts. It's a tight line to walk--when you know they can't possible keep all of it, but you don't want to be a meanie and snatch their new toys out of their hands, and you don't want them to be unappreciative and start to eye gifts with a "do I really wanna keep this one?" mentality. I can't stand to hurt anyone's feelings! So, we sometimes do the "one-in-one-out" thing. They have to get rid of something of equal size to keep one of the new items for which we don't have space. In all of the shuffling of things, it becomes clearer all the time that we just have. too. much. stuff. We're slowly but surely learning our lesson and doing better at controlling what comes in because that's much easier than getting it out! But in the case of sweet family members and friends who give those extra gifts to our children, I do find that the policy I mentioned above works rather well.

All that being said, I never, ever want my children to receive a gift with ingratitude. Ever. It's inevitable that they will be given a gift that isn't age appropriate, or a "repeat", or just a gift that they don't particularly like.  I think that their attitude about receiving that kind of gift depends on the attitude they pick up from us. I know a dear lady who is anti-clutter nearly to a fault. She's extremely practical, which isn't a bad thing, but because of that she has a tendency to appear ungrateful if a gift seems useless or impractical, and I've seen similar attitudes in her children as well. She probably doesn't even realize it. So, while situations like that can be tough, it's important to train our children in the art of tact. I've tried to drill it into my children, "No matter what it is, smile, say "thank you", and find something nice to say about it! It was very kind of this person to give you this gift, and you don't want to hurt their feelings!" So far, so good. :)

Do you have any ideas of how to handle an overabundance of good will at Christmas? Please share!

(With all of this in mind, that new idea on which we'll be working before next Christmas is sounding better all the time! If you've read my previous post, you'll understand!)

Marriage Means Parenting as a Team

"Sometimes I have to get onto my husband. He just acts like one of the kids," I'm sure I blinked as I listened to the mom across from me. She went on to tell me how her husband just gets too rough playing with the kids, and she has to calm them all down. For once, I was speechless. I waited for her to qualify her statement, but she went on to tell me how she has to step in and tell them (including the man that is the full-time provider for their family) to take a break from playing for awhile so they don't tear up the house.

I guess I shouldn't be too hard on her. Have you ever considered how many children's books portray the mother as the great dispenser of wisdom that keeps the whole family in check? The dad always gets "carried away", and the mother has to draw the family back to sensibility. In the Christian versions, she also corrects her husband spiritually.

While I definitely think my role as "help" to my husband includes keeping him accountable to some extent, what is the real motive for stepping in and correcting his parenting? Do I think I can do it better? That's called pride. Does it have to be done my way? That's stubbornness. Am I afraid of relinquishing control? That's rebellion. In case you haven't read your Bible in a while, let me remind you that those are characteristics that God hates.

I am not talking to those who may be married to an abusive dad or husband right now. I'm talking to those of us who are married to the man that loves our children just as much as we do. We trust him to check the locks at night and take care of anyone that tries to break in and harm us. We trust him to earn part or all of our income and pay the bills. We trust him to fix our car or the hole in the ceiling. Why can we not trust him to parent the children we brought into the world together?

When I step in and intervene when my husband is correcting a child, I am saying to my child, "Your dad isn't competent to handle this. Let me take care of it." When I tell my husband to stop playing with the kids, I'm telling my kids, "The health of my lamp is more important than your spending time with your father." When I lecture him on a spiritual issue, I am taking the role of the Holy Spirit in his life and of the spiritual head of our home.

I've seen the kids of these type of mothers. They either have no respect for their father because their mother never did or they have no respect for their mother because she controlled them to the point of ruining their relationship with their dad. I don't want either outcome for my family.

Parenting is hard, and both my husband and I will make lots of mistakes.That's why it's something that has to be accomplished as a team. We can't afford for either one of us to sit on the bench. When we do it His way, the Coach smiles, and our chances of winning in this parenting game are much higher.

Weekend Reflections

Looking Back...

The entrant from Joy Ever After into the Grand Prize Giveaway for the $75 Best Buy Gift Card is Doreen! You should have received an e-mail. We hope you win!


 Here's what we talked about this week:

•  3 freedoms to give to our husbands
• The most convicting post of the Christmas season
• How falling in love with Jesus is like falling in love with your husband
• Tips for decluttering your living space
• What activities we enjoy at Christmas time

Don't forget to enter this week's giveaway for a chance to in a life-changing book for women!

 From the Archives...

• A Mom Looks At "Away in a Manger"

Looking Ahead...
Next week is the week of Christmas! Can you believe it is here already? We will be keeping our regular posting schedule and sharing how we celebrate Christmas.

We are hoping to revamp the blog a bit in the coming weeks to prepare for the new year. It might be necessary to change the name of the blog. Unfortunately, though I was the first to publish Joy Ever After, I was not the first to purchase the domain. Therefore, we would love suggestions from you readers that know the purpose and focus of this blog as to a new name. If you have any ideas, leave them in the comments or on our facebook page. We may just have a contest to see which title wins!


Link up with us!
Copy a link to your favorite post from your blog (not your home page URL, please!) this week into the comment box below. We'd love to check it out!

Activities for the Christmas Season

We have purposely kept things simple around our house for the last few years. The words hectic and holiday shouldn't be used in the same sentence, in my opinion. (Except for the previous sentence, of course.) We don't send Christmas cards or bake a lot or go to a lot of parties. This is how Jerrod feels if Christmas gets too busy:

 Here is a list of the things that make our Christmas season special. Though we don't get to them every year, we try to do so.

• Decorate the tree with the kids while listening to Christmas music. The youngest member of the family gets to place Baby Jesus in the manger in our nativity scene.
• Read our collection of Christmas books.
• Drive around and look at Christmas lights.
• Go to our church Christmas party.
• Have a date night to the holiday orchestra concert.
• Visit Grandpa in the Christian Home where he lives.
• Reading the Christmas story around the tree before opening presents
•  Christmas dinner with all the trimmings
• Watch the kids perform in the church Christmas program.



Jessica has been Mary for about 3 years in a row.

 

This is serious business!

 What activities do you and your family enjoy at Christmas?

For some ideas from other bloggers, visit:

Judy @ Contented at Home
Joanna @ The LaVans
Jessica @ It's the Little Things

Passionate Housewives Review and Giveaway

The Review

I was privileged to receive a copy of Passionate Housewives (Desperate for God) from Vision Forum to review. I hardly know what to say about this book. It's amazingly rich and very powerful in its presentation, yet simple and encouraging. Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald offer personal testimonies and, more importantly, Scripture to show in a convincing manner that God's plan for marriage and the home is the only plan that will work. Period. While this book is convicting, it isn't harsh. These ladies don't beat up on the reader or stick their proverbial noses in the air while spouting self-righteous cliches. Instead, they lovingly encourage the reader to live to their fullest potential in the light of God's Word; to embrace their high calling as women, and especially as wives and mothers.


I don't usually mark in any book except my Bible, but I found myself underlining and "starring" over and over in this book. Here are a few of the quotes that I found especially inspirational:
   
          "Biblical motherhood means sacrifice, selfless love, and faithful dedication.  It means impacting future generations by our faithfulness now." p.21


          "Instead of crucifying the passions and desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:24), too often we go with the flow and listen to the smooth marketers who tell us we desperately need what we don't have--and, furthermore, convince us we need more of what we already have." p.22


          "I realized right then and there that feminism's empty charm had tugged on my heart--that even as a Christian woman, I was vulnerable. While I had a "choice" of whether to tend to my home or to seek outside pursuits away from my family I recognized that I was prone to wander whenever I let God's grand vision for womanhood slip from my  mind." pp. 29-30

The book addresses feminism truthfully and without apology. The discussion of male and female roles in chapter 7 was especially insightful, as well as the admonition for us wives to allow our men to be men; to stop competing with them, to avoid putting them down publicly, and to build them up in their God-given role instead of tearing them down.


I echo the cry of one lady in the book, "Where are the Titus 2 ladies who are supposed to teach us?"

I will say that there were two topics in the book on which I may differ from the authors. However, I won't get into those differences here. These ladies are far more learned than I am and until I have the opportunity to study into these areas further, I won't state a strong opinion.

I would highly recommend this book to any woman, married or single, and especially to young women at home who are preparing for marriage.

From the book description:

Do you wrestle with cultural messages that demean the homemaker's calling and exalt instead the emotionally androgynous power-woman--the wife whose worth is measured only by the degree of her ambition, the shape of her body, or her money-making skills? Such is the image of the "desperate housewife" that the modern media, culture, and feminism are promoting with great energy.

In a delightfully honest way, this book addresses these issues head-on and provides fresh vision for the hopeful homemaker. Hear a former "Christian" feminist share how she went from a die-hard homemaker-in-training to a dedicated career woman and then back again--after God gripped her heart. See the hollow counterfeit of whitewashed feminism and "me-ology" destroyed. And consider the beautiful picture painted in Scripture of the truly fulfilled homemaker who glories in the hopeful calling God created for her.

Pull up a chair, dust off the cookie crumbs, and join Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald as they lay aside stereotypes like the "Stepford wife" and dispel such myths as the 1950s "perfect homemaker." Discover what it means to be a passionate housewife "desperate" for God alone!

The Giveaway

Vision Forum has graciously provided a copy of this wonderful book to give away to one of our readers. To enter, just leave one comment under this post for EACH thing you do from the list below:

Mandatory: Follow Joy Ever After.

Like Joy Ever After on Facebook.

Comment on a post on Joy Ever After's Facebook page, or write on the wall.

Subscribe to Joy Ever After  via email. 

Share this giveaway on Facebook, Twitter, or on your blog. (One comment each).

This giveaway ends Thursday, December 22, at 9:00 EST. 

To read our disclosure, click here. 

De-Cluttering Your Living Space

Last week we went over ways to de-clutter your Kitchen workspace to get you ready for all of that Holiday baking. This week we are going to move on to your living spaces, (such as your Living Room, Den, Foyer etc) in order to get you ready for all that company that you're going to have over during the Holidays!

If you are like me, you have one space that has consistently become your "dump spot". Everything you are currently working on, your mail, and any other miscellaneous "stuff" gets plopped into a pile at this spot and it is constantly a cluttered mess. Every time company comes, you have to hurry and shove that stack into a cupboard or pile it on your bed until they leave, right? Yeah, I know...I've been there, done that. Well, since for most of us that pile isn't going to just gracefully "go away", how can we make it less of an eye sore?

Kath Younger wrote an article in the "breathe" magazine for the November-December issue about de-cluttering your home. In that article, she gave an interesting solution to this very problem. Since most of us can't just simply get rid of that clutter, she says to just make it look nice. How can you make that huge stack of papers look nice?! Well, she suggests placing a nice basket, bin, hook or container of some kind in that spot to contain the mess. The kind of container you use will obviously depend on what kind of clutter your dealing with. For me, my biggest clutter problem is my papers and notebooks I stack on the chair by the door or on the counter. I would probably just need a pretty basket or bin to contain my clutter. But if your problem is the winter outer wear that is piled in a heap by the front door, maybe installing some hooks on the wall for the coats and scarves would work, with a bin for shoes and boots. For some of you with small children around the house, your clutter might be the toys and books that get left out after your child is finished playing with them. Perhaps for you, a simple toy box or colorful bin would be the simple solution to your clutter.

Whatever your clutter problem is, find the solution that works for you and get it under control before that "perfect" relative comes for a visit! :0) No, seriously, getting your clutter under control will help you to face the Holiday company with less (notice I said LESS) stress and more confidence. Why not start today?

How To Fall In Love With Jesus

He pursued me with words written on a page like a lightning bolt dropped into an otherwise calm  evening at home and preparing for the next day's test. I sat on the arm of the couch across from my parents, intoning, "What am I going to do?" There was no one else. I had made sure of that. I was done with men as a high school junior, and I had decided that marriage was not in the forecast for me. Then the wooing began. At first it was a gentle offer on his part and persistent refusal on mine. The dynamic changed a bit when he stood looking down at me and let me know that his part  was over. Any further pursuit would be my doing. As I turned away, I should have felt relief, but I felt a deep loneliness. No more letters. No more conversations. I was free to go on with my own life. Apart from him. That's when the tears came.

I should have remembered this. The pursuit. The wooing. The tender words on a Page. My refusal. My desire to do my own thing. To follow my own life. Apart from Him. The tears that rushed from my eyes and dampened my pillow on that dark night.

There were other people. There was my mother telling me in so many words how foolish I was. The fact that she was right only lent to louder sobs. There were the friends and older people that applauded my decision to graduate, establish a career, save romance for a more sensible time of life. But sensible made me feel loneliness and terror that I had given up the most precious thing I had not yet possessed.

"Of course you're saved, Honey! Look how good you are." The people that looked on couldn't see my heart. The loneliness. The terror that I would be forever separated from Him. That separation was more palpable than even the flames that I knew would engulf me if I continued on my stubborn path. I wanted Him. I needed Him.

I needed him. Just when it had happened, I wasn't sure. The pursuit I had so taken for granted and at which I had feigned annoyance was gone. I watched his retreating back. Calm, possessed. He cared enough to give me up if that's what I wanted.  I couldn't know how he was breaking inside.

His heart broke as He stepped back and waited. Waited for me to get to that point of realization. I could not go on without Him. Life would just be a shadow of what it was meant to be. Then my heart broke. Tears rushed again, but this time they dripped with sorrow. With shame. He had given of Himself for my salvation and formed me when I was invisible to the human eye. Then, He loved me enough to place the decision in my hands. Love does not exist in coercion.

Somewhere in the next 24 hours, the pursuit changed. This time it was my words on a page. My apology for waiting so long. My willingness to receive all that we were meant to share.

My words in a prayer. My confession and release of the sin that had separated us. My willingness to receive all that we were meant to share.

It has been wonderful. Both roads have been littered with hardships. But no temptation or trial is enough to shake me from the beauty of what we share. The love of heaven on Earth. The love of Heaven come down to Earth.

How to fall in love? I really don't know how. I just know the sweet reality of a marriage made in Heaven and the even sweeter realization of Heaven within me.

It Bears Repeating

I'll just be honest. I had such a mental block that I simply could not think of anything to post today. At least nothing which seemed fitting, interesting, or what have you. While I know it's a "repeat", I felt a growing sense that I was to post a link to an article I read recently, and which I've already shared on our Facebook page and on my blog for the blog hop last Friday.  Both my husband and myself were greatly moved and convicted by this article, and I feel certain that future Christmases will be different at the Geise house.

You may disagree with Ann Voskamp's opinion, and that's fine. But prayerfully consider what she has to say. Your future Christmases may look a little (or a lot) different, too.

When Christmas Gets Radical: Whose Birthday Is It Really?

Blessings,

The Freedom Your Husband Needs

I'm all about freedom. I enjoy the privilege of living in a country where I can worship how I choose and a state where I can educate my children in the way I decide. In the last three decades, we have heard a lot about the liberated woman. Women have come a long way, or so we're told. We have gained the right to vote and shattered glass ceilings. We have won the freedom to do whatever we want to do.

I believe that in our fight to achieve freedom from the so-called stereotypes placed upon women, we have taken some very basic freedoms from the men we love. The simple truth is when the glass from the ceilings we have broken through settles, someone is going to get cut. Sadly, it doesn't happen to be the male chauvinist boss or the abusive boyfriend. It's often our husbands that have to pick up the pieces.

Here are a few things our husbands have to give up when we stride past them in our high heels and designer clothes and remind them to pick up the dry cleaning:

• The Freedom to Provide. No, I'm not talking about whether you work or whether you make more money than your husband. I just know that a man is wired by his Creator to work by the sweat of his brow to provide for his family. You can call that dominance if you want to. I call it servanthood. You can call the wife of such a man a parasite. I call her blessed. When we show our husbands that we can get along without them thank you very much, their innate purpose for living is what we have shattered. Helping bring income into the family is not the problem and can be quite commendable when the two of you work as a team. However, that is not the same as blatant disregard for a husband's need to provide for his family.

• The Freedom to Protect. The sad part of feminism is that it doesn't allow for much femininity. We have fought to become men and changed the whole dynamic of romance and pursuit. Who hasn't thrilled at one time or another to a story of a handsome prince rushing in at just the right time to snatch his love from the clutches of death or an evil suitor? Fanciful? Yes. Realistic? Well, yes. That is exactly what your husband wants to do for you. Perhaps his black steed looks more like an old clunker; but give him a chance, and he will be there to protect you. Sometimes even from yourself. 

• The Freedom to Pamper. I'm a pretty independent type of person. Just ask my parents about the decade of clashes of wills, and they will attest to that fact. I like to know that I can do things for myself. I desire control and pride myself on having my own way. Apart from grace, I would make a staunch feminist. But where is the joy in gathering my own roses? Or the romance in opening my own car door and paying the bill as well? Just how is it oppressive to me to have my husband take my arm and make sure I don't fall on the ice?

Sure, you may be able to do it better. But where is the satisfaction in that? Watch your husbands eyes light up when you sincerely thank him for working hard for your family. Step back and let him fight a few battles for you even if his sword is a little rusty. Forget your advanced degree and the income it brings, and accept the flowers he presents you with genuine delight.

When you give him back these basic freedoms, you won't worry about any ceilings. Heaven is a much loftier height to reach.

Weekend Reflections

Looking Back...
 Here's what we talked about this week:

• Things You'll Never Hear Your Husband Say 
• Crafting with and capturing the perfect photo of your children this season
• How to be kept from evil in a world of evil
• An easy plan for decluttering your home
• How we Christmas shop

Don't forget to enter this week's giveaway for a chance to do some last-minute shopping at Best Buy!

 From the Archives...

• Cornerstones of a Peaceful Day

Looking Ahead...
Next week, you can read about the freedom your husband needs, how to fall in love with Jesus, a review (and giveaway!) of one of our favorite books for women and what activities make the Christmas season special for us.

Link up with us!
Copy a link to your favorite post from your blog (not your home page URL, please!) this week into the comment box below. We'd love to check it out!

How We Christmas Shop

The Thirty-One Giveaway winner was: Julie (aunteegem)! You should receive an e-mail shortly!

Don't forget to enter this week's giveaway for a $75 Best Buy Gift Card!

I do not remember ever getting up at 4:00 in the morning to peruse the Black Friday sales. It's just not something that appeals to me. Call me lazy or unmotivated, but I just can't bring myself to do it. However,  I've done some Black Friday shopping online as well as taken advantage of some Cyber Monday sales.

Buying things up throughout the year sounds like a great plan; but if I were to try that, my kids would like totally different things by Christmas than they did back in February. Or they would have a growth spurt and not fit into the awesome Christmas pajamas I bought them. (Ssh! Don't tell.)

So, my husband and I start shopping a little after Thanksgiving and finish up....well, a little after Thanksgiving. Within a week, we are usually done; and we get the double fun of having packages delivered to our door often through the month of December and getting to open them on Christmas morning.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking...how do we afford it? Well, we try to put aside a little throughout the year in our Christmas ING account. I know it's hard to find money to put aside, but it's the same money with which I would be buying all those gifts through the year.

Another thing that helps a little toward Christmas gifts is Swagbucks. All we have to do is create an account and do our regular internet searches on the Swagbucks toolbar. We accumulate points, or Swagbucks, as we do searches. When we get 450, we can redeem them for a $5 Amazon gift cards (among other prizes). We cash in our Swagbucks right before Christmas and shop with them on Amazon. Right now, they're having special deals:  Shop Amazon's Toys - Holiday Flurry Deals Week

While we're searching, we go to Ebates first.  Most online retailers (except Amazon, unfortunately) give you cash back on your purchases if you click through Ebates to their site. Ebates tracks our purchases and gives us 3-6% (or more!) cash back after the holidays. We earn money for doing the shopping we were going to do anyway!

At this moment, our shopping is all done, and boxes arrive almost every day. We might not have gotten the best deals of the year on Black Friday; but all of the gifts are paid for, and we didn't have to brave the crowds.

See how these other bloggers Christmas shop:

Judy @ Contented at Home
Joanna @ The LaVans
Jessica @ It's the Little Things

For the Techy Among Us...(Giveaway)

I am one of the few in my circle of friends who does not yet have a smart phone. I'm not really opposed to having one. I'm just satisfied with my laptop and a little leery about being that accessible. Or about having the internet that accessible. I get distracted too easily as it is.

So, when I was offered the opportunity to review this app, I knew a lot of you mom readers would enjoy hearing about it. My husband graciously let me download it to his smart phone so I could check it out. I really think it is great for smaller children, especially those that are fearful at night. My kids will enjoy playing with it regardless as they love to tinker with all kinds of technology.

Read all about this neat Christian app for kids below, then don't forget to scroll all the way down. You have the chance to win a $75 Best Buy gift card to finish up your Christmas shopping for that techy person on your list.

ABOUT THE APP

The Sounds of Night Company name: Christian Apps 4 Kids Founder: Jessica Kirkland Type of App: Book app Target Audience: Children ages 2-10 years Availability:  iPad, iPhone, iPod touch, and all Android phones and tablets. Price: Apple App Store: $5.99            Android Marketplace: $2:99

DESCRIPTION: The Sounds of Night is a book app that helps put a child's mind at ease when the lights go out at bedtime. This book addresses one of the primary feelings young children face; fear. The Sounds of Night reinforces the principle that God is the Creator of every creature. Since God makes all the animals that scurry and screech at night, children can lie down and sleep in peace.

FEATURES: The Sounds of Night has over 75 touch points/interactions. It has rich illustrations and 4 Bible verses on fear that kids can learn with their parents and share with their friends. 

DEVELOPMENT: Jessica Kirkland is a member of Moms with Apps. She recently launched Christian Apps 4 Kids, which seeks to draw kids closer to Christ one app at a time. Her inaugural app is a result of the fear that was such a part of her life:

In every season of life, the Enemy would whisper the lie that I would “never make it” to the next. I believed it. Time and time again, I thought his words held power. As a young child, I never thought I would live to see my school years. Once I entered school, I never thought I would live to see the next day, next grade, or milestone in life. I listened to a very real enemy, even though I didn’t want to. Even though I came from a strong, Christian family, I felt powerless to stop the lies. Fear gripped me, stole from me, and taunted every careful step I took.

Jessica believes the only way to be free from fear, as an adult or child, is to replace fearful thoughts with God's Word. Her desire for each book project is that they not only build character, but help set kids free.

The book app was developed in partnership with ROAR.   

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jessica Kirkland lives in Southeast Texas with her husband, Robb, and five-year-old triplets. She is an author and speaker whose greatest passion in life is to see young families grow deeper in their walk with God. Jessica's newest adventure includes launching Christian Apps 4 Kids, which seeks to draw kids closer to Christ one app at a time. A recent release is a book app that addresses fear and scary nighttime sounds called The Sounds of Night, designed for kids ages 2-8. When Jessica isn't writing, you can find her cheering her boys on at the soccer field, or watching her little girl at the dance studio. 

To find out more about her current writing projects, connect with her at: www.christianapps4kids.com or on her personal blog:  www.jessicakirkland.com

COMING SOON: Christmas App! 

The Lonely Stable is a book app that reminds children that it's never too late to live out God's plan for their lives. Told from the stable's perspective, this intriguing Christmas book tells the story of Jesus' birth. From time to time, we all wonder about our purpose in life. The Lonely Stable wondered why he was still standing, for he was weathered and old. As time passed, he began to question his purpose. This remarkable tale is a lesson that both parents and children can hold on to when they ask questions like, "Why am I here?" or "Does God care about my life?" This book shows us that God has made each of us for a special purpose. The Lonely Stable is aimed at kids ages 2-10 years old.

GRAND PRIZE GIVEAWAY

$75 Best Buy Gift Card

To Enter: Leave a comment telling us which "techy" gift you would buy with your Best Buy gift card.

De-Cluttering Your Home Room by Room

Awhile back I did an overview (or gave a few tips) on cleaning; but I came across an article that was broken down into living space sections to help you de-clutter each space individually. I thought it might be helpful if we did that here with Christmas and the New Year coming up. The New year seems to always present a fresh start to everyone, and having our homes de-cluttered for the new year would certainly help all of us towards that goal!

Since we're approaching Christmas, and a lot of us are putting our kitchens to use with all of that extra baking, I thought we might start with that space first. Not all of these ideas are original with me, but I found them helpful, so I'm passing them on to you!

• Minimize What You Have: Have extra dishes or cookware lying around that NEVER get used? Why not donate them or give them to someone who WILL put them to good use? That way, there is more space for the items you actually do use!
• Locate Elsewhere: Seasonal dishes or pans that you only use once a year can be stored in the basement, garage or attic where they will be kept safe, but out of your way until you need them.
• Eenie, Meenie, Miney Moe: Keep the utensils and gadgets that you ACTUALLY use and get rid of the rest. Chances are, you'll never need 10 spatulas all at once!
• Purge Regularly: Don't let leftovers, bottles of old sauce, or liquids mold in your refrigerator. Either put them to use, or pitch them in the trash on a regular basis to avoid a moldy mess.
• Consolidate: Why have two bottles of the same cleaner, that are both half full? Combine the extra "like" cleaners to avoid having a full cupboard of half-used bottles.

Hope this gets you off to a good start in de-cluttering that kitchen! Now, get off the computer and get to it! :0)

Also, here is a link to a blog about this very subject that I thought I would share with you! Moms the Word



Joanna LaVan is a child of the King, wife to her incredible husband, adoring aunt "Nana" to her four favorite little people, and Pastor's wife to their Church people in Virginia. Her desire is to share with the world the wonderful reality of sins forgiven. In her spare time she enjoys Kayaking, reading, occasional scrapbooking, cleaning, blogging, and spending time with her wonderful family. She blogs about her life's happenings, and passions at www.lukeandjoannalavan.blogspot.com .

A God who Keeps

Clipart from Wattonontheweb

John 17:15 "I pray not that Thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep them from the evil." KJV

In this prayer that Jesus is praying for His disciples (both then and now), He is not asking His Father to remove them from this world and all of it's turmoil, sin and evil; but He is asking the Father to KEEP them IN the midst of it all FROM the evil. Do you see the difference? It wasn't God's plan to keep us from living in this world and rubbing shoulders with those around us. He has something much better than that for us. He wants to keep us FROM the evil while we are still living among it. The only way that is possible is by His grace. He said in the previous chapter (John 16:33b) "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world". It is only because He has ALREADY overcome it, that it is even possible for you and I.

Now, don't misunderstand me...I am not saying we need to get as close to the world as we can without becoming exactly like them. That is a danger we all need to be keenly aware of in this day. But what I am saying is this... We are to live IN this world as examples and lights to those around us. Jesus can KEEP us in this world that we live in; and by letting our "light so shine before men" (Matthew 5:16) we may lead others to Him.

Isn't it a wonderful thing to know we serve a God that is able to keep us from the things of this world? It is nothing you and I can do in and of ourselves; but we are totally dependent upon Him. II Corinthians 3:5 says, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; bur our sufficiency is of God". It is God working through us that gives us hope. II Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and KEEP you from evil".

We live in a world that is full of evil and seems to be getting worse everyday. The darkness is getting deeper all around us; but let's not be discouraged! It is in the darkest of nights, that our lights can shine the brightest!

Jude 24-25
"Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.

Joanna LaVan is a child of the King, wife to her incredible husband, adoring aunt "Nana" to her four favorite little people, and Pastor's wife to their Church people in Virginia. Her desire is to share with the world the wonderful reality of sins forgiven. In her spare time she enjoys Kayaking, reading, occasional scrapbooking, cleaning, blogging, and spending time with her wonderful family. She blogs about her life's happenings, and passions at www.lukeandjoannalavan.blogspot.com .

Christmas Crafts and Tips for Cute Christmas Photos

Need some ideas for some crafts to do with your kiddos this Christmas? Here are some that I've found. 

For older children, try these Cookie Cutter Ornaments. Directions can be found at  Martha Stewart.

I just love these little Pinecones. Smaller kiddos should be able to help make these! You'll find directions at decorating your way. (It's a post by Myra. Her blog is  My Blessed Life, and I love it!)

And, if you feel real crafty, here's an adorable card holder! You'll find directions at Craftiness is not Optional.

If you're like me, you have trouble getting a really good photo of the children in front of the tree. That can be frustrating! Click on the links to view these helpful tips:

This link will be helpful if you use a DSLR. So far, I can only drool over them.  I'm only an amateur, after all. :) But I'll still see if something like this trick will work with my lil'ol' point and shoot! You'll find the post at Unskinny Boppy.

This post at Under the Sycamore is amazingly helpful, as well! Take a look at the difference in these photos!

Finally, here's a neat little checklist to help you remember which shots to try to capture this season! You can find the free printable at Rock the Shot.

If you have any kid-friendly crafts or photo tips to share, please leave a link! We'd love to check it out. 

Jessica is a follower of Jesus Christ, the wife of an amazing husband, and the mother of four children who are the loves of her life. She is passionate about homeschooling, enjoys spending time with her family more than anything else,  would rather buy a new book than new clothes, is always starting on a diet, and thinks that chocolate is the next-best medicine to laughter. Other than reading, her favorite hobbies are music, decorating, blogging, and making attempts at photography. She blogs about this, that, and the other at www.itsthelittlethings4.blogspot.com.

Ten Things You'll Never Hear Your Husband Say

Thought I'd lay off of the "heavy" stuff this week and give us all a laugh or at least a knowing grin:

1. "You know, my underwear is looking a little ratty. I think I'll clean out that drawer today."

2. "I think I'm getting too many tools. Maybe I should give some away."

3. "That computer is too high-speed for me. An older model will work just fine."

4. "Let's go out for dinner tonight. No, don't worry about changing...I love how you look in those old sweats and your high school T-shirt!"

5. "Let's go to the mall! I heard Bath and Body Works is having a great sale."

6. "You haven't scheduled the family photo yet? I'll be happy to do it for you. That's something I don't want to miss!"

7. "Junior's been acting a little strange lately. I think it might be time to go out for coffee and have a heart-to-heart with him."

8. "Honey, are you sure you have enough shoes? Our closet looks really empty."

9. "I'm having trouble fixing this leak. Do you have any suggestions for me?"

10. "I really have no idea where we are. I'm going to pull over and find someone to give me directions."

Weekend Reflections

Looking Back...
 Here's what we talked about this week:

• Looking past him to Him 
• How to put down the books and learn from the Source
• How women fit into the family of God
• Saying goodbye to fall with one more pumpkin recipe
• How We Decorate for Christmas blog hop

Don't forget to do some Christmas shopping at Thirty-One and enter this week's giveaway!

 From the Archives...
Forgive me for a little nostalgia. "Little Man" featured in this post is now potty-trained, and I have a new "Little Man" that is just as attached to my hip as his older brother was!

• A Tale of a Typical Day

Looking Ahead...
Next week, you can read about the things you'll never hear your husband say, another book review by an up and coming author and how we Christmas shop--with a giveaway to help you out with your shopping!

Link up with us!
Copy a link to your favorite post from your blog (not your home page URL, please!) this week into the comment box below. We'd love to check it out!

How We Decorate for Christmas

I will just warn you that decorating is not my forte. My creativity (if one wants to call it that) is channeled into writing out my ideas or expressing the musical ideas of others through piano. I'm also very creative when it comes to clothing options for a child who has had a diaper blow-out in a very public place far from home. But, I digress.

The one time of year I decorate is Christmas. Not much decorating, mind you. My husband puts up the Christmas tree, and I decorate it along with the kids. Before we had children, we had a perfectly coordinated red and gold tree with decorations from a high-end department store's after-Christmas sale. The few "specialty" ornaments we had were red or gold to match the decor.

When the children came, we began to collect photo ornaments with their current year photo. As I was going through our Christmas decorations this year, I had to throw away some of our original red and gold bows. Then, I realized that our photo ornaments, which we have always bought to match the current tree decor were not coordinated at all. When I laid out all of our decorations, we had a mixture of red, gold, silver and blue with a few black or white pianos given me by piano students over the years.

I realize that my creativity will not be featured in Better Homes and Gardens anytime soon. With my apologies to Martha Stewart and my home decorating genius readers, I present our current Christmas tree:

Yes, in fact we are quite patriotic around here!
Now, go check out these other blogs whose owners are much more creative than I:

Judy @ Contented at Home
Joanna @ The LaVans
Jessica @ It's the Little Things

Thirty-One Giveaway

Thirty-One Fall Winter Catalog

I have just recently become familiar with this company, even though it has been in business now for around 8 years. I not only LOVE the products they carry (what woman doesn't adore a cute purse, right?!), but I LOVE the fact that they are a Christian based company!

The company name "Thirty-One" is based on the Proverbs 31 chapter from the Bible. This gives their consultants a wonderful opportunity to share with their clients not only their incredible products at the in-home shows; but also gives them an opportunity to share the beautiful example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

This would be a great way for stay-at-home moms to earn a little (or a lot!) extra money while still being available to care for their children. This is an incredible company with fashionable, yet functional, purses, totes, diaper bags and MUCH more!

Take a look at the Thirty-One Catalog by clicking on the picture above. If you find something you just have to have for yourself or to give as a Christmas present, place an order--no need to hold a party.

However, if you find lots of "somethings", you might just want to host a party. Don't worry, you don't have to clean house and cook up fancy party food. You can hold your party online and receive all the same wonderful benefits!

If you really love the products, you just might not want to keep them to yourself. Thirty-One is a great business opportunity as well. For more information about joining their team, click here.

Now, after you look over that lovely catalog, leave a comment below telling us your favorite product or which of the three options above interests you most. One of the commenters will receive a lovely thermal tote, generously donated by Thirty-One consultant, Melanie Collins:

 

If you have any questions about the products, hosting a party or starting your own Thirty-One business; check out Melanie's website: http://www.mythirtyone.com/melaniecollins/

U.S. Entries only. Giveaway open until Thursday, December 8 at 9 P.M. EST.

For extra entries:

• Subscribe to Joy Ever After through Facebook, e-mail or RSS and leave a comment on this post letting me know you did (or already do).
• Host a party with Melanie and leave a comment on this post letting me know you did so. (2 extra entries)
• Join Melanie's Thirty-One team and leave a comment on this post letting me know you did so. (5 extra entries)

Hope you win!

Layered Pumpkin Cheesecake

Everybody has their favorite dessert. Mine happens to be anything Chocolate, Cheesecakes, Pies, Cookies...Ok, so I just like DESSERTS! But this recipe is one of my favorite Cheesecake recipes to make. I usually end up making it every Thanksgiving for our family. I thought I would share it with you with all of the Holiday baking that is going on this time of year! I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

Image from Betty Crocker Recipes

Crust

2 cups gingersnap cookie crumbs (about 32)

1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted

Cheesecake

4 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened

1 1/2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)

1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Directions:
Heat oven to 300°F. Grease 9-inch springform pan with shortening or cooking spray. Wrap foil around pan to catch drips. In small bowl, mix cookie crumbs and butter. Press crumb mixture in bottom and 1 inch up side of pan. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until set. Cool 5 minutes.

In large bowl, beat cream cheese with electric mixer on medium speed just until smooth and creamy; do not overbeat. On low speed, gradually beat in sugar. On low speed, beat in eggs, one at a time, just until blended. Spoon 3 cups of the cream cheese mixture into pan; spread evenly.

Stir pumpkin, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg into remaining cream cheese mixture; mix with wire whisk until smooth. Spoon over mixture in pan. Bake 1 hour 25 minutes to 1 hour 30 minutes or until edges are set but center of cheesecake still jiggles slightly when moved.

Turn oven off; open oven door at least 4 inches. Leave cheesecake in oven 30 minutes longer. Remove from oven; place on cooling rack. Without releasing side of pan, run knife around edge of pan to loosen cheesecake. Cool in pan on cooling rack 30 minutes. Cover loosely; refrigerate at least 6 hours but no longer than 24 hours.

Run knife around edge of pan to loosen cheesecake again; carefully remove side of pan. Place cheesecake on serving plate. Store cheesecake covered in refrigerator.

Happy Baking!

Joanna LaVan is a child of the King, wife to her incredible husband, adoring aunt "nana" to her four favorite little people, and Pastor's wife to their Church people in Virginia. Her desire is to share with the world the wonderful reality of sins forgiven. In her spare time she enjoys Kayaking, reading, occasional scrapbooking, cleaning, blogging, and spending time with her wonderful family. She blogs about her life's happenings, and passions at www.lukeandjoannalavan.blogspot.com .