The Two Best Choices I Made In January

1. Getting off Facebook
 I know bloggers are supposed to be all about social media, but I found myself getting annoyed at myself every time I spent time on Facebook. I didn't spend as much as a lot of people (I don't have that many friends! ), but I still felt like it was a waste of time. FOR ME....maybe you get a lot of benefit out of it. I'm not telling YOU to get off Facebook. I'm just saying it was a good choice for me. I don't even miss it and I can do much more productive things when I'm online. Now if someone will just tell me how to remove the badge from my sidebar...

2. Reading Large Family Logistics
This book is awesome! Wonderful! Superb! O.K. you get the idea. The author has 9 children so she knows what she's talking about, but I wish I would have had this book when I had 1 child. It's THAT good. It has helped me in so many ways, but particularly with our schedule. I want to read it slowly throughout the year to digest each part better. So encouraging and practical without weighing a mom down. Again, I'm not saying  you have to read it, but I would strongly encourage you to if you're a mom!

Blizzard Blog Hop

 

O.K. so attending Blissdom is only a distant dream of mine anyway. Not sure if I'm even allowed to participate in this.  Ann Marie is a serious blogger, however, and she got this neat idea to have a virtual meet 'n' greet for bloggers who could not attend the Blissdom blogging conference. 

If you 've been reading here for awhile, thank you! I love my loyal readers and enjoy your comments and e-mails, too! You all can just skip this post.

If, however, you just found my blog through the bloghop, welcome!

Before I tell you who I am, let me tell you who I was:

Seventeen years ago, I was a slave, clothed in the rags of my own righteousness. The King of Kings found me, cleaned me up and gave me His own royal robes to wear. 

Thirteen years ago, I was God's princess, determined not to be entangled with any earthly prince and to pursue a college education and ministry career. Then I met an earthly prince who was the closest thing to Heaven I'd ever known.

Eleven years ago, I was God's princess, becoming the queen of His choice for me as I gave my vow at the altar to him. I was determined that no little princes and princesses would join us, however, at least for a very long time.

Eight years ago, our first and only princess joined our castle (which I failed to fully enjoy in those days), and the king and queen entered the world of parents. Three little princes have joined us since.

About six years ago, a group of ladies who joy in their roles of daughters of the King, crowns to their husbands, mothers to their children and keepers of their castles, took me under their wing and taught me in the Titus 2 way what I had been too stubborn to see: 

Living God's calling for women is a JOY! 

Ever since, I have been imperfectly striving to live out the Joy Ever After of my own God-given fairy tale and two years ago, I began this blog to show others what God is doing in my life in the hopes that they will be inspired to find their own Joy Ever After--ultimately in the Castle Beyond This World where Joy will never be interrupted and we will be with our King forever!

For more about what I do here, see First Time Here? To meet the ones who make up my little slice of Heaven here on earth, read Our Story. 

Thanks so much for stopping by! May you leave with joy! 

~Jennifer~

Our Home School Day in the Life

Jamie over at Simple Homeschool has invited us to answer the following questions and share our homeschool day. This is what it looked like at the beginning of the year. So you can see how we change things up as we start a new semester.

How old are your kids? 8, 5, 2, 3 months


How long have you been homeschooling?  since birth, but officially this is our fourth year


What does your homeschool day look like? It varies greatly, but here is today:

My early bird child usually awakes while I'm still in my chair having my quiet time. We sit together until I'm done, cuddle and talk a bit, then get dressed as the rest of the kids start waking up. Sometimes the baby joins us, sometimes he's still sleeping, sometimes he's back to sleep.

The kids do morning chores and get dressed while I help out where I can and start breakfast. We eat breakfast, do table chores, then sit at the table for Bible together. I try to go directly from the Bible lesson to my kindergartner's phonics lesson because he is easily distracted. My third grader does her independent work either at the table with us or up in her room if she needs quiet.

When the kindergartner's school is done for the day (it doesn't take long), he takes the 2-year-old upstairs to play while I work with the third grader. We try to have school done by lunch on a home day (this is currently Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays typically).

After lunch and table chores, I try to read or spend a little time with the 2-year-old before putting him down for a nap. After he's in bed, we read a chapter out of our current read-aloud book together, then everyone goes to quiet time.

After quiet time, I try to spend time individually with at least one child. This varies. This week I have used it to help my daughter start a blog as a school assignment, play a video game with my son, work on multiplication tables and sometimes we work on reading or play checkers. Just depends on what is needed and what the child wants to do. I also use this time to finish up any school work with my third grader, particularly if it was not a home day.

When the little one wakes up from his nap, we have afternoon chore time which includes straightening the house, practicing music lessons and any chores that weren't completed earlier in the day. I start to prepare supper and then we start our evening.

On days away from home, we try to contain those activities to before nap time, more for my sake than theirs! This includes doctor appointments, grocery shopping, piano lessons, library visits, art and gym class.

There you have it although I've left out a lot of the nitty-gritty like fights, diaper changes, discipline sessions, feeding the baby, the little one asking, "Hold you?", and bloody noses. Those events just kind of fit in the cracks of a day so it's not too normal.

Subscribing to Stupidity

If you are into freebies at all (and who isn't?), you know that free magazine subscriptions have been abundant in the last few years. I sign up for ones I think may be helpful since they're free and I can always throw them away when I'm done with them. (Sorry...the closest to green I am is the color of the SUV I drive.  ;-) Well, I do pass them on to family members if I remember.)


Anyway, even after being very particular about the ones I subscribe to, I am angered about the content of "decent" magazines. One parenting magazine geared toward women, for example, featured a different male movie star each issue and told why he was so wonderful (my editing of their choice of words).

Another parenting magazine expressed shock at the statistic that families with school age children would own guns. Directly underneath were the new "coolest" kid headphones with a picture of a skull on them. Hmmm...

I'm tired of religion, too. Don't get me wrong....I'm tolerant. (Even if my post titles aren't!) But only when tolerance is mutual. This is America and we have freedom of religion, however, whenever my religion of choice (Christianity) is mentioned, the writer is always apologetic or worse, sarcastic and poking fun. So much for tolerance. (By the way, by tolerance I mean I support others' rights to choose their religion. I do not mean that I believe we can all be right.) An article that irked me was a woman's health magazine that talked about prayer as a stress reliever even if one doesn't believe in a Supreme Being to which to pray. Huh?

However, the most recent magazine article that drove me to write this ranting, raving analytical post was one touting the benefits of having a "work spouse". Here are some quotes from real people on the subject:

"My husband and I both have work spouses! And I think that's a really positive thing."

And what, exactly, is a "work spouse"?

"When she calls, he gives her his undivided attention and almost always takes her advice."

 "I know that sometimes he's going to call her when he needs to talk something through, and I'm okay with that...If someone else can help make your spouse's life easier and reduce his stress level, it's a win-win for everyone."

 I'm thinking that even though a parenting magazine is publishing this, that it's not going to be a win-win for the children involved when the spouses decide to simplify and let the work spouse be a full-time one.

Family Living in Small Spaces

According to this article:

The average American home in 1950 was 983 square feet (source) and, according to Census data (PDF), the average American household size was 3.37 people. This means that in 1950 the average American had 292 sfpp (square feet per person).

We have six people living in our home. If we were to go by the standards of 1950, we would have a house with a square footage of  1752. Instead we have 1056, not including the basement or the small shed in the back (no garage). That gives us 176 square feet per person.

According to this source on tiny homes (which doesn't take into account the number of people residing in them):

Starting with square footage, most tiny houses can range anywhere from under 100 square feet (9.29 square meters) to around 1,500 square feet (139.35 square meters).

I guess this qualifies us as having a small house. I love having a smaller house most of the time. It's easier to keep clean and gives me an excuse to regularly weed out "junk". It is difficult when we have company overnight since we only have two bedrooms. It is difficult to have a large group of people at once. Everything else is pretty simple. I like things simple.

I will be doing a series on family living in small spaces. Not that I'm an expert. I would love input from you! If you and your family live in a home under 1,500 square feet or 292 sfpp or less (it's o.k. to leave out a basement or an attic unless it is finished), please e-mail me with your ideas and solutions for any of the following areas of your home:

• Living Areas
• Bedrooms
• Kitchen/Dining
• Storage
• Bathroom
• Closets

We'll link up to share ideas for families wondering how to fit it all in and still keep the people. I'm looking for new ideas myself to complete my goal this year.

Christian Homekeeper's Journal

This week’s Journal is all about HOME

In my homey kitchen …..
My husband is roasting coffee beans and I have a partial loaf of homemade bread on the counter for toast in the morning. We had Kitchen Day (thank you, Large Family Logistics!) on Tuesday and I have all the beef browned for this week's meals, some chicken broth and meat, and a double batch of waffles all in the freezer.

My thoughts on being at home ……
I didn't grow up being at home much since I lived in a busy on-the-go ministry family. I didn't stay home much in my early days as a wife. It wasn't until I started having children that I realized the value of staying at home and not until recent years that I've learned to love it.

A constant habit I have of making my home comfortable is ….
straightening, picking up, erasing the evidence---whatever you want to call it. I cannot relax in clutter!

If I could change the decor of my home ….
it would be totally minimalist! Well, maybe not totally, but I'm loving open spaces more and knickknacks less. My former love for Victorian decor is satisfied by visiting an occasional tea room. I live in a house where the men outnumber the women 4 to 2 after all!


What I want my children/spouse/other family to remember about my home is …
they could be themselves...people are always more important than things...it's a place they love to be and come back to.


Home …
The place where we have our beginnings and find ourselves as children, the place we establish as we marry and form a new family, and the Place where we all will find ourselves ultimately with Jesus!

Prayer: It's Not About Me

Note: Some of these thoughts are taken from a series on the Lord's Prayer my pastor has been preaching--with my own unique twist, of course.

It's no wonder our praying gets a bit self-centered. From the earliest days, children are taught the following prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray, dear Lord, my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray, dear Lord, my soul to take.

We pray for our happiness, our health and our homes and then we pray for those same things for others close to us. All too often, we never stop to think about what God wants. It's all about what we want Him to do for us.

May I suggest that perhaps prayer isn't about getting what we want? If you're thinking, "Why else would I pray?", maybe you can take a look with me at the prayer Jesus used as a model, often called The Lord's Prayer:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

The first thing I notice about Jesus' prayer is there aren't any "mes". The requests that are made are sandwiched in between praise to the Father and an affirmation that all requests be according to the Father's will. 

Let's look at those requests. There is a simple request for the needs of the day (bread, not cake and daily bread not enough to fill the pantry or freezer). There is a request for forgiveness and enablement to forgive others. This is not a self-centered request when you think of how your flesh resents making an apology! The prayer even goes a step farther in asking for God's power to keep us from needing forgiveness in the first place!

I don't see any of the typical "Help us to have a good day" and "Keep us healthy" prayers that I often pray. Is it any wonder we sometimes don't feel as though we're touching Heaven with our prayers when most of them are begging God for our own temporal comfort?

All Parents Should Home Educate

Now that I have your attention (smile), let me explain:

Although I was never home-schooled, I was home educated.  Before I went to kindergarten, I learned to read by being read to. I was also taught to be kind to others, especially to those who were weaker than I was in some way.

On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher formed three reading groups with the not-so-carefully disguised names of "Cheetahs" and "Bears", if I remember correctly. Yes, I know that is only two. I can't remember the middle group because I was never in that one.

We were doing our reading evaluation, and a little boy named Adam was struggling to read the words. Everyone else in the group could read better than he did, and it was obvious, even to five-year-old me. Then, it was my turn. I picked up my book and imitated Adam's halting style, "Go...Sp...spo...spot...g..go" with the same monotone he used. I was happy. Now he wouldn't feel bad because there was someone else that read like him.

I stayed in Adam's group until my parent's came to a parent-teacher conference and saw my reading evaluation. Since they home educated me, they knew what I was capable of and questioned the teacher as to why I was in the "Bears" group when I read "Cheetah-style" at home. I had learned from my parents a much more important lesson than reading, however grades don't reflect that.

Most parents just miss the depth of their child's intelligence and, more importantly, their character, because all they see is a report card. My parents were very involved in my education. Even though they sacrificed to put me in an excellent school, they didn't trust the teacher to handle every detail. Science projects were a family affair. My mom drilled our multiplication facts into our heads. My dad made up funny ways for us to remember history facts and Bible verses. They were there for every event, and applauded our every sincere effort. They didn't have to ask us how we were doing in school. They knew.

Yet, there is so much more to an education than academics. Just as my parents taught me kindness, they also taught me respect for authority. "The teacher is always right." In the very few cases the teacher was legitimately in the wrong, they took care of it; but without lessening that teacher's right to authority in our minds. They didn't leave character issues for us to "mature into". They didn't even leave them up to the Sunday School teacher. I learned very few things in Sunday School that I didn't already know from being taught at home.

Yes, I've used my parents as an example of home educators because they taught me how to do it. I've taken it a step farther and kept my children home from "school", because I don't want to miss a thing! Even if you send your children to a brick-and-mortar school, don't fail to home educate. You may be surprised what you learn.

Quips and Questions: The Five-Year-Old Edition

My five-year-old and I got into a discussion about electric eels this morning. He confidently gave me his theory, "God made electric eels by saying 'Ta Da!' and making a mommy eel. Then she made eggs and they grew up to be big eels." Not too far off...

Another day, he was supposed to be learning to count by 10s. However, he interrupted my drilling to ask, "Hey Mom! Can you count by 90s to 10?" I find that it is always interesting to see what is going on in his mind although I was inwardly groaning, "He doesn't get it!"  Out loud  I said, "I'm not sure. How do you do that?" He proceeded to count: "90...80...70...60...50...40...30...20...10." I was speechless. And you know what a rarity that is!

A recent question from him: "Mommy, you know why God made Memaws and Papaws?" I didn't...exactly...so he answered: "So if you have four kids, two can sit by Mommy and Daddy and the other two still have somebody to sit by." At least that's the way it works around here!

Three Things I Want the World to Know About Me

1. I belong to God. This is not the same as "I believe in God." Or even, "I am a woman of faith." What I want everyone looking on to know is "I am bought with a price"---the precious blood of my Savior--and I have presented myself as a living sacrifice to Him. I am completely, voluntarily under His command because the cross of his Son calls for no lesser service. His smallest desire is my biggest priority.


2. I am a woman. God created us male and female from the beginning and ever since the first sin, we humans have been struggling to accept our God-given gender and its accompanying qualities and roles. In Large Family Logisitics, Kim Brenneman quotes Jennie Chancey:

Our foremothers settled this land, built houses, planted gardens and tended animals in long skirts and beautiful dresses. Even their aprons were wonderful to behold! Surely in our day of microwaves, washing machines and vacuum cleaners, we can do our chores with as much feminine flair as they. Personally, I feel it is uplifting to the spirit to go through each day in womanly attire. Let's dignify our work by dressing appropriately and beautifully in it!

The only way the world will know instantly that I joyfully accept my gender is by the way I dress and conduct myself.

3. I love.  Yes, that is a complete sentence. It has no object simply because I want the fact that I love to be unconditional as it was for Jesus. I love God first and foremost. I'm learning to love my family in the Titus 2 kind of way. The early Christians were known by their love for one another. Then, I want to get past my heart, my walls and the pews of my church and love. Love the wicked. Love the sick. Love the hurting. Love the dirty. Love the misguided youth and the forgotten elderly. Love the child murdered before it had a chance to live...and even more difficult, its mother.

How am I doing? I'm not sure. Perhaps I should start with number three and make sure I am close enough to the world so that they have opportunity to observe my life. Or maybe I should start with number one so they don't look at me and see someone very much like themselves who knows how to speak spiritual-sounding words. Wherever I begin, I must always remember number two---I'm a woman of God with a unique position of ministry to fill.

I want the world to know these things about me....so that the world may know Him.

Not Enough

I tiptoe into their room thinking of the day we just lived through together. I stop at the little one's crib. He lies still with his arm around his favorite Care Bear that is just slightly smaller than he is. My heart jumps as I cry to the Lord, "Today I wasn't gentle enough! I didn't enjoy him enough."

I turn to the bigger boy's bed. He lies on his back, breathing even and quiet. My heart jumps again as I think how much he looks like his daddy. "Lord, today I didn't hug him enough! I didn't laugh enough."

As quietly as I can, I step up the ladder to the top bunk where my daughter sleeps. My emotions get the best of me as I watch her clutching her doll and sleeping peacefully. "Lord, I didn't nurture enough. I wasn't patient enough."

I stand on the ladder with my head against the headboard. Then, He speaks. "You never have been enough. That's why I am here."

I go to my own bed with new humility and resolve to trust tomorrow. My newest little one is asleep as well and I ponder the next 18 years. No, I will never be enough. But He always will.

And I rest in that.

Health, Home and Habits

After a year of pregnancy, a new baby and officially becoming a mom with lots of kids, there are two areas that definitely need a fresh start in my life. Here, in a nutshell, are my goals for the year. Now that I'm telling you about them, I'll have even more incentive to stick with them (I hope!).

Health...
To be honest, my nutrition and fitness fell almost completely by the wayside in this fourth pregnancy. Since the holiday season followed close behind the birth of my baby, I feel like health has eluded me for quite awhile. Or rather, I've eluded it...or something like that. Getting my health back in order is one of my big goals for 2011.


Home...
With six people and their stuff in about 1100 square feet of living space (not counting the little shed in the backyard), we have to be a bit choosy about what we keep and what we get rid of around here. We've decided that we want to keep the people, but the stuff...not so much. My second big goal for the year is to simplify and organize our home so we have what we need without feeling like we are drowning. A home with less stuff is easier to clean, too,...so they tell me.


Habits...
Last year I had too many goals. It was hard to focus on any one thing so I didn't make really significant progress in any of them. This year my keywords are consistent focus. I read Leo Babauta's book earlier this year and liked his one-goal system, so I am loosely implementing that this year with the two above goals, broken down into new daily and weekly habits.

In light of my recent post, I will hasten to clarify. Although I like the simple living/minimalist philosophy of Leo's blog and books, I realize he comes from the perspective of a false religion. Therefore, I no longer subscribe to his blogs or have any of his books on my list. I just prefer to stay away from that. If you follow his ideas, just do it with wisdom and stay in the Word and prayer.

Do You Have a Jonah Attitude?

I was recently reading the book of Jonah, and it struck me that this prophet chosen by God had a perpetual bad attitude! There is not one redeeming feature in his life (at least as recorded in these four chapters) that we would hope to emulate. There are so many things to learn from him, however, even if what not to do.

When God first gave the command for Jonah to go to Nineveh, he ran away. This is somewhat reminiscent of a two-year-old, however do we adult women hear God's Word, then "run" from it by denying that is truth for us or that it really means something else in the original language?

One Bible commentator said that Jonah is often perceived as a unselfish hero because he offered to be thrown over board so that the rest of the ship could be saved. The truth may be (and in my thinking, this makes more sense) that he was so determined not to obey God that he'd rather die. After all, he didn't pray on board the ship, "Lord, spare us and I will go to Nineveh!" He didn't pray at all. I've had children stomp their little feet and say "No" in such a way that I think they would have almost died rather than obey my command. God dealt with Jonah's rebellion in a unique way. He did not allow him to die. What's it going to take for Him to get our attention?

When Jonah did decide to go to Nineveh (wouldn't you?), he obeyed reluctantly. As we tell our children, reluctant obedience is the same as disobedience. Are we obeying God outwardly, but reluctant in our hearts?

Finally, after the Ninevites repented because of Jonah's message (God still used the message of a rotten messenger!), we find out why Jonah was so hesitant to obey. He was so prejudiced against the inhabitants of Nineveh, that he wanted them to be destroyed because they were not God's chosen like he was! I would hope that our prejudice doesn't run that deeply, but I have seen homeschooling moms look down on non-homeschoolers and vice versa. I've seen stay-at-home moms ridiculed for their choice and working mothers shamed by stay-at-home moms. This is wrong! We ought not to be prejudiced against anyone for any reason because all of us are created in the image of God.

Jonah sat outside the city and felt sorry for himself because he didn't get his way. I've dealt with this with my children; but I wonder, if we were honest, how often self-pity has crept into our hearts and attitudes as women, wives and mothers?

God was a lot more patient with Jonah than I would have been! However, even His repeated attempts to prompt Jonah to see his sin and repent were futile. When all is said and done, it is still our choice. Will we keep our bad attitudes or get rid of them? I wonder how Jonah's story could have been different if he had Godly attitudes. We will never know, however, we can still edit the story of our own lives. Let's don't allow Jonah attitudes in our hearts and homes!

Are You Glad to be a Mom?

My daughter recently asked me, "Are you glad you're a mom?" After assuring her that I was, I asked her if she thought I was glad to be a mom. "Well, sometimes when you're playing with us, I think you are," she replied, "but other times I'm not as sure." Ouch! My goal for this year was joy, but maybe I slipped up a bit.

Being a mom is one of the best things that ever happened to me, but if that belief doesn't translate into my actions, my kids will never know it. I want the Lord to help me to do every task through my day with a joyful attitude.

What about you? How do you let your kids know you love being their mom?