Reflection and Relationships

Reflection...
In January, God provided my husband with a job...In February, God provided us with the news of our fourth child...In March, God provided for us financially while we waited for a delayed paycheck...In April, God provided my husband with a promotion...In May, God provided us with grace for a tough situation...In June, God provided healing from physical difficulties...In July, God provided comfort in the loss of a dear loved one...In August, God provided grace for surrender in some parenting issues...In September, God provided help with adjusting to home educating two children instead of one...In October, God provided us with a healthy, beautiful baby...In November, God provided us with peace about a difficult decision...In December, God provided us with hope for a new year before us.

Relationships...
On the last day of 2010, my wish for you is that you will either begin or grow in a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I wish that if you are married, you will put your best energies into a relationship with your husband. If you are or are not married, I wish you to make that phone call to connect with your parents and siblings, even if it is a phone call of apology and reconciliation. If your grandparents are still alive, I wish you to build memories with them in their final days. If you have children, I wish that you will put your best efforts into training and loving them. If they are too old for training, I wish that you will continue the loving and that it will extend to their children and grandchildren. Without relationships, this world is nothing. Without a relationship with our Creator and Lord, the next will be even worse than nothing. Don't wait to invest in relationships!

Many wishes for a blessed New Year,
Jennifer

How to Make Time to Read This Year

 Sorry about the fuzzy pictures. I'm not sure what's going on with that!



When I put away Christmas decorations, make goals and plan for the New Year, I make my reading list. A strange thing to do perhaps, but as I've told you before, reading is an important part of my life. Reading is more than just a hobby for me--it is the way I learn and grow in life. I doubt I would be as far as I am without the books that have shaped me. Most particularly, the Book. I strive to always read God's Word first and take it as the ultimate authority upon which I base all other writings. Just because I read or even recommend a book does not mean I agree with it 100%. In fact, other than the Bible, I haven't found a book that I agree with completely, but many that I believe are mostly grounded in God's Word.

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A lot of women agree with me on my love for reading, but they say, "Oh, I don't have time to read!" I think we all have time for what is important to us. Of course God, our husbands and families and homes should come first. If you have outside employment, you should definitely fill your allotted time there before taking time to read. However, I have read over 50 books this year, mostly during the hours my children are sleeping. I almost never read through the day. I would sit and lose myself and neglect my child and home duties. I put the children to bed and that is my reading time. It may be 20 minutes or a few hours, depending on how early the children got to bed. Therefore, I believe that if reading is a priority, one will make time for it. Here are a few tips:

• Decide it's important. If you don't really enjoy reading or you have other hobbies you'd rather pursue, you probably won't get very far on a reading list. I'm not saying that everyone has to read. Rather, I'm trying to show you how to make time for it if it is as important to you as it is to me.

• Focus. I would hope that we all read God-honoring books, but even good novels can sometimes be a waste of time for a busy mother. You will find a few on my list, but I've found if I'm going to make reading a profitable hobby, I do better to read things that will better me as a wife, mother and home manager. My personal criteria for a book is it has to make me think, laugh or cry (bonus if it does all three!). If you are a novelist, have more time to spend on reading, or are in a different season of life than I am; your reading lists will probably look very different than mine. The key is to focus on what will make your life better. In order to focus on the important reading, I decide ahead of time what books I will read through the year. I may add to or subtract from the list as I go through the year, but at least I have a plan to read so many books on the few important topics I want to explore.

• Use online tools. I keep a notepad on my computer desktop with the books I plan to read and another one with books I want to read. If I come across a book recommendation on a blog or from a friend, I put it on the "want to read" list. When I decide what to read for the year, I transfer it from my "want to read" list to my "books to read this year" list. If I'm not sure I want to read something, I look it up on amazon.com to look inside it and read others' reviews on it. I reserve books online at my local library so I can just pick them up without wasting time browsing shelves. If I want to read a book that my library doesn't have, I check paperbackswap.com. I also use my swagbucks to purchase amazon gift cards to buy the books I can't find elsewhere.

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• Make a time. Our alarm clocks go off at a certain time each morning. We have set mealtimes (usually). If your kids go to school or other activities, you have a certain time you have to have them there. We make time to do the basic household chores.Why not make a time to read? I told you mine already. Some mothers read while nursing. Others read while waiting for their children at an activity. If you don't have young children or any children, it may be even easier to fit reading into your schedule.

Since I think reading is an integral part to my growth as a woman of God, I will publish my reading lists on the sidebar of the blog. If you are looking for a recommendation, you can check out what I've read, but please do your own "checking" of books. All of us have different ideals and sometimes, after I've read a book, I really don't want to recommend it after all.

Happy Reading in 2011! What's on your reading list this year?

Is Cleaning House Spiritual?

I recently was reading a book on clutter control and it listed another book as a resource. The sub-title reads "Free Yourself from Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Clutter Forever". Wow! Who knew cleaning house could be spiritual? As I checked out the cover and the table of contents of the book, I saw that it was teaching the principles of feng shui. I had a vague idea of what that was, but my first thought was, "Does it really matter how it gets done as long as you get your house clean?" As I was reading my Bible this morning, however, I read the words, "Hate evil." Not tolerate it. Not derive what good you can from it. But HATE it!

So, just what is this "new/old" way of clearing the clutter and arranging your home?

Feng Shui is based on the Taoist vision and understanding of nature, particularly on the idea that the land is alive and filled with Chi, or energy. The ancient Chinese believed that the land's energy could either make or break the kingdom, so to speak. The theories of yin and yang, as well as the five feng shui elements, are some of the basic aspects of a feng shui analysis that come from Taoism.  Source

And just what is Taoism?

Tao is the first-cause of the universe. It is a force that flows through all life. "The Tao surrounds everyone and therefore everyone must listen to find enlightenment." A believer's goal is to harmonize themselves with the Tao. The priesthood views the many gods as manifestations of the one Dao, "which could not be represented as an image or a particular thing." The concept of a personified deity is foreign to them, as is the concept of the creation of the universe. Thus, they do not pray as Christians do; there is no God to hear the prayers or to act upon them. They seek answers to life's problems through inner meditation and outer observation. Source

What promises a neat house and a whole lot of other things from a good marriage to help losing weight, is actually a false, God-denying religion. I would like my home to be neat and clean and well-arranged, but the truth is I don't want "energy" flowing through my home. I want God's presence there.


Lest you think this is another of my crazy "soapboxes", I will tell you that some time ago, my children played a game on the computer based on a popular "educational" kid's program. It went into detail on the principles of Feng Shui home arrangement. Can you tell me why a child's program would focus on home decorating? 


No one wants to talk about "religion" anymore, but a lot of people are touting the word "spiritual". Be assured that life cannot be lived in the absence of religion. Everyone is worshiping something or someone. If that object of worship is not the Lord Jesus Christ---our Creator God--than who is it? Something to ponder as you declutter and decorate your home for the New Year.

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.

Celebrating and Simplifying

Note: I know that celebrating and simplifying are not technically alliterative, but they sound like they should be. :-)
 
Celebrating...a concert of Christmas music at our church...watching my kids perform in the church Christmas play...our annual mother/daughter tea room visit for my mother's birthday which is 11 days before Christmas...Christmas caroling at my grandpa's Home...Christmas dinner with my family on Christmas Eve...reading the Christmas story and opening presents around our tree on Christmas morning...Christmas with my husband's family on New Year's Eve.

Simplifying...we attended one party this Christmas season...we had one Christmas-related field trip...we will bake zero Christmas cookies...we will send zero Christmas cards....so we can enjoy as much time as possible with the six of us and our closest family members enjoying and worshiping the One Who is the reason for the season.

A Mom Looks at "Away in A Manger"

There is no child's Christmas song more classic than "Away in a Manger". What "Jesus Loves Me" is to the rest of the year, this Christmas lullaby is to the month of December. According to this site the author is unknown, which is good since I have to tell you...I don't think parts of this song are accurate. Whoever the author might be, I'm not necessarily blaming that person for intentionally deceiving us. Perhaps it was written by a single, childless man who didn't have any life experience in this area.

Although I have many years before I'll be able to call myself an experienced mom, I have had 4 babies and three of them have been boys. (Well, they still are boys...just not baby boys...except for one...oh never mind...you know what I mean!) Anyway, there are, to me, some obvious fallacies in this carol.

"Away in a manger, no crib for His bed"

While I admit that I don't know of anyone who has laid a newborn child in a manger, I have not met any mothers that lay their newborns in a crib either. I have serious doubts as to whether they even had cribs at all in Biblical times, but I have not researched this. I'm not even a co-sleeping mother, but I have never placed a newborn in a crib. In fact, my infants have all preferred to sleep in their car seats--except one who preferred a swing going at top speed. I'm sure (without doing research) that those weren't available in Biblical times either. If you use a crib for newborns, please feel free to correct my ignorance (on this one issue only, please). 

"The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head"

Although Jesus did have power beyond the human scope and did many miracles in His lifetime, I find it doubtful that He was able to lay down His own head at a few hours old. My babies still don't lay down their heads voluntarily, but that's a different issue. As a newborn, it just wasn't developmentally possible for Jesus to have done this.

"The poor Baby wakes, but little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes"

My first question is, "How did they know He was awake if He wasn't crying?" I will give you that perhaps not everyone's baby announces their wakefulness with a bout of crying to let their mothers know--that may be unique to mine. However, how would Mary have known when He was hungry or wet if He didn't cry? When my babies were born, crying was the first order of business. The Bible tells us that Jesus developed normally and even above average, so I just cannot believe that He didn't cry.

I am glad modern versions changed "take us to Heaven" to "fit us for Heaven" when referring to children. I will again give the author the benefit of the doubt that that is what He intended to write.

While I'm on the subject of Christmas songs, let me recommend Tim Hawkins' thoughts on Christmas songs...one in particular. It appears I'm not the only one who over-analyzes them!

One more you've gotta see if you home educate...Twelve Days of Homeschool.

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

Are You Married to a Husband?

Sound like a silly question? Maybe so. However, when I hear some women talk, I think they get a bit confused. Maybe I get confused sometimes, though I'm trying to keep clarity on this issue.

For example, some women talk to me like they are married to a child. They say things like, "He acts like one of the kids." and "He just wants me to baby him all the time." Many times the husband in question is the main breadwinner of the family and does a lot of things for his wife. Sometimes wives even talk to them in the condescending tone that mothers reserve for their 2-year-olds. I think they just might be confused about to whom they are married.

Some women think they are married to a patient--even if they're not doctors. I always cringe when someone tells me she is putting her husband on a diet, for example. To me, that is not something one does to a spouse. I mean, I would be mortified if my husband told me what I could and couldn't eat because he wanted me to lose weight. Not that I couldn't benefit from it, but I pay my doctor for health advice. Therefore, I wonder why women try to play doctor to their husbands---more confusion on to whom they are married, I suppose.

Other women think they are married to their father. As in how a three-year-old little girl relates to her father. Their husbands don't notice their new outfit, and they pout. Someone hurts their feelings and they expect their husband to champion their cause. Their husband makes a suggestion for improvement and they go to their room and cry. I'm thankful my father taught me not to act like this (even if I haven't always heeded his training), but some women just must be confused on their relationships to their husbands.

One other confusion I see is that sometimes  women think they are married to their mothers. They drag him reluctantly into store after store while they shop. They curl up and cry and want their husband to tsk, "There, there" or something else their mother would say. They get sick and expect him to wait on them hand and foot.

Maybe a lot of our marriage problems would be solved if we would just remember we are married to a husband. I'm trying to remember that. How about you?

Meals and Memories

Meals...
Monday - Italian Chicken over Rice or Noodles, Green Beans
Tuesday - Cheeseburgers, Cheddar Potato Strips, Corn
Wednesday - Chunky Potato Soup, Amish White Bread
Thursday - Venison Steaks with this marinade, Baked Potatoes, Broccoli
Friday - Spaghetti with Red or White Sauce, Salad, Garlic Bread

My family is split down the middle as far as preferring rice or noodles and red or white sauce, therefore we just do both! We're not always balanced enough to have 3 different meats and 2 meatless meals in one week. :-)

Memories...
Being in the school Christmas play and mouthing everyone's words...when my grandparents would spend way too much money on us and cry as we opened our gifts (from joy, they told us!)...the first Christmas after I started dating my husband when he brought gifts not only for me but for our whole family...using our Christmas money the first Christmas we were engaged to shop for our tree and decorations the day after Christmas...our first Christmas married when we went to Oglebay, West Virginia and bought a special ornament for our new tree......my first Christmas holding a baby and feeling a little of what Mary must have felt...my mom saying, "Let's just have Christmas tonight--everything's wrapped!" a week before Christmas...driving around town to see the best Christmas lights displays...attending the Christmas Holiday Pops concert with my husband...watching my kids in the Christmas program at church...Christmas dinner with all the family in.

Does Information Equal Knowledge?

"My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6

I must admit that I couldn't figure out how to apply this verse in the Information Age. Knowledge abounds everywhere. It seems like everyone is "going back to school". There are myriads of blogs, websites and books on every subject imaginable. The information is certainly accessible to us. Libraries offer not only print copies through inter-library loans but also the ability to download books. Don't have a portable computer? No problem. Just get a Kindle or get the audio book to listen on the go. It's hard to find a person without a cell phone...most of which are equipped with internet access...which is the epitome of available information. If all else fails, you can turn on your car radio.

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So, we of this modern era don't have the problem of being destroyed for lack of knowledge, right? The context of this verse suggests that the people had the knowledge they needed but rejected it. Sometimes we are just confused by the sheer amount of available information. Or the information that seems right is too difficult to apply. If we have the information...even correct information...but never apply it, we will be destroyed. We are "ever learning" but never coming to the "knowledge of the truth".

Truth. Now there's a new concept! Or perhaps it's a very old one. And this truth prevails...everything we need....all knowledge needed for life...is in one Volume...one Person. "In Him was life...and the life was the light of man."

What Kind of Blessing is a Child?

There it is again...the question that I've been asked more times than I can count in the last month...as I sit in the doctor's office with my one-month-old. Right between,"How is he sleeping?" and "How often does he eat?" he drops the question. I've heard it from friends and strangers alike, yet I still don't know how to answer. "Do you want more?"

A thousand thoughts flit through my mind, but none of them form into the right words. I stammer. I stall. I evade the question. I believe wholeheartedly that children are a blessing from the Lord. I've been blessed four times, but I'm still not sure what kind of blessing children are.

Some see them as being like a monetary blessing. If I had four crisp one hundred dollar bills and someone asked, "Do you want more?" could I honestly say, "No, I have enough." ?

Others see them as being like a culinary blessing. If I had just indulged in a large piece of chocolate cake and someone asked, "Do you want more?" I might want more but realize that I could hold no more.

"Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them." Ultimately God decides what a full quiver is, be it zero or twenty. But that doesn't help me answer the question....do I want more?

How do you answer the question? Is there an answer?

Learning and Living

Learning...
...that I've grown in some areas this year...that we all have the same 24 hours a day...that being right isn't always the most important thing...that the newborn stage only lasts for about a month...what motivates each child to get schoolwork done in a timely, non-grumpy manner...that we usually don't know what a person is going through on the inside by viewing their outward actions...that marriage is beautiful when you work as a team...that each child is unique.

Living...
...family cuddles on the couch with homemade cocoa...exercising to Dino Christmas music to incorporate fitness, teach my children rhythm and dispel bad moods...baby smiles and coos...reading The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey to the kids again and trying not to cry because my husband is just waiting for me to...ordering the kids' Christmas presents online and escaping the hectic stores and cold weather...home-roasted coffee in the French press...playing Christmas music on the piano...meeting an old acquaintance at Wal-Mart who wants to turn her life around before her baby is born in two weeks...decorating our tree with a general color theme and my collection of kids' photo ornaments.

Learning Time Management from Jesus

Time Management is a popular topic now whether you are a homekeeper like me or a part-time single mom or a corporate executive. Almost everyone comments at one time or another in her life, "There just aren't enough hours in the day!" So, we try to manage the 24 hours we get each day a little better in order to "fit it all in". I'm no exception to this, but I am beginning to learn that, as in everything we may attempt in life, Jesus set the perfect example for us. In my surface study of His life, I've learned this about how Jesus managed His time while on Earth:


1. He knew why He was here. Finding our life purpose is a subject to which some have devoted entire ministries and in which the business world has invested time and money. Jesus simply found out His Father's will for his life--His purpose for coming to Earth.


2. He focused on why He was here. Although we think of focus as a modern, zen-like idea; Jesus actually used it in His life. Everything He did fit in with one of his two (NOT 52!) purposes for being here.


3. He rested regularly but productively. Though He knew He was only going to be here 3 1/2 years, Jesus did take time to rest. However, His rest didn't include activities like surfing the web or even a hobby (though those may have a place in our lives). His rest was either fulfilling His purpose (spending time with His disciples) or preparing for His purpose (spending time in prayer for guidance).


4. People came before projects. In fact, the Bible never records Jesus building a church or creating a charity program. He just spent time with people, meeting their needs.


5. He  never hurried. You never see Jesus urging His disciples to hurry because they needed to get to the next town by a certain time. He knew what had to be done and gave Himself plenty of time. He never lost focus and embraced interruptions that fit into His purpose.

At the end of Jesus' life on earth, He told His Father that He had finished what He came to do. He could be completely satisfied that His life, though short, was well-lived and there was nothing left undone. I know I can't achieve the efficiency level of Jesus, but I want to learn from His example!


This post linked to Women in the Word Wednesdays.

Are You Enjoying the Ride?

Imagine with me a family ready to leave on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Excitement builds as they set out in a car packed with the sundry items a father, mother and assorted children need for a leisure trip. Dad gets behind the wheel while Mom settles into the passenger seat. The children are in their seat belts and child safety seats. They have decided on their destination and all are anticipating the arrival there. For the first hour all is well, then Dad takes a turn off the interstate. "What are you doing?" asks Mom. "Oh, I thought we'd take this route," he replies. Mom protests, "But we'll never get there if we don't take the interstate!" This, of course, is not true. Dad's way may take a bit longer, but there may also be better scenery or roadside stops along his route. Yet Mom focuses not on arriving at the destination but how she would get there if she were driving. She finds dissatisfaction and expresses disapproval in Dad's driving for the rest of the trip.

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All too often this scenario goes on in Christian homes. (We'll leave the discussion of a non-Christian spouse for another time and place--and blogger.) Wives like you and me listen to preaching on submission and nod our heads in agreement. Oh, yes, we want spiritual leaders to follow! We will back them up and sweetly submit to their firm direction for our family. We jump into the passenger seat, but they decide to take a different route than we thought they would. Our destination is Heaven and there is only one direction to go in order to arrive there. However, when our husbands don't do things just the way we think they should, we whine, "What can I do? I try to submit to my husband but he just won't lead." We sigh and shrug our shoulders and take over the driver's seat. Oh no, we don't push our husbands out of the way! That wouldn't be "submissive". We just sit in the passenger seat and pout and whine and feel sorry for ourselves for being bereft of a spiritual leader.

The truth is the father in my family vacation scenario was leading his family. He was on his way to their agreed upon destination. He didn't go south when he should have gone east. He was headed in the right direction. However, his methods were different than the ones the mother would have chosen, therefore she accused him of not leading them to their destination because he wasn't leading the way she thought he should.

Maybe your husband doesn't lead family devotions or maybe he doesn't lead them the way you would lead them. Maybe he doesn't take the position at church that you think he should. Maybe he reads His Bible at night instead of early in the morning like you do. God just says, "Submit". No exception clause other than a husband leading us into sin.

Before we accuse our husbands of not being spiritual leaders, let us ask ourselves: Are we going in the right direction to arrive at our Heavenly destination? If so, then sit back and enjoy the ride. No vacation is complete without a few surprises!

At Home and About

At Home...
It took us all day Monday to recover from our celebrating last week. I am still not back to my preferred 1 load of laundry a day system.

I found a way to sneak in those 3 extra days of school we needed to make up from last week. I put all 8 days' worth of work in each kid's folder, and made a list of what needed to be done. I told my oldest that if she got it all done early, she would have a day (or two) off of school this week, too. She's been working diligently! :-) My kindergartener loves his school work so much, he doesn't even realize we've been doing extra.

The pre-lit tree that made everything so convenient the last few years decided to only light up half of its lights this year. My husband worked tirelessly for two nights before we got to decorate it. We have been playing Christmas music, though. We found a CD we bought last year and never opened, so that was a pleasant surprise. We also got out the Christmas books for the kids. They are devouring them--again. They are always fresh when we get them out with the Christmas decorations instead of leaving them out all year.

About...
After last week, I felt like staying in mostly this week, but I did venture out a bit. Quite a bit for a homebody like me! :-) Aside from the regular errands, we met our homeschool group for playtime at McDonald's one day. We went to piano lessons another day and our homeschool gym class another day. We went to church Wednesday night. Today, it still remains to be seen where I will go!

Jesus With Skin On

This post is linked to Women in the Word Wednesdays.

While listening to a radio program this week, the host made the comment that sometimes we Christians need to see "Jesus with skin on". It's been over 2,000 years since Jesus came to us in the flesh. I would have loved to talk with Jesus in His bodily form here on earth and see his interactions with other people. Now, we interact with Him on a spiritual level, of course, but I think we sometimes get a little too "spiritual" for our own good. We have lots of ideologies about the Christian life, but sometimes we fail to show a lost world or even other Christians what Jesus in the flesh really looks like.

I've been convicted of this mostly in my own family. The Bible tells me that my marriage is supposed to be a reflection of the Church's relationship to Christ. If I belittle my husband to friends, I am showing them that it is o.k. to make a joke out of Jesus. If I roll my eyes when he asks me to do something, I am showing disrespect to the One Who created me. If I inwardly resent a real or imagined offense from my husband, I am demonstrating a wrong attitude towards the One who died for me.

In the same way, my mothering should be a picture of God's nurturing care for his children. Speaking harshly or critically to my children is not an accurate portrayal of how God deals with us. God never vents his frustrations on us or allows us to rebel without consequence.

Jesus spoke of this eternal purpose for Christians when He told us to care for the "least of these" as if we were serving Him. He no longer walks earthly streets as one person in human flesh. He lives in each of us and expects every Christian to be "Jesus with skin on" to a lost world. And what better place to start than our own homes?