What I've Learned from Reading to My Kids

When I first started reading to my little girl 7 years ago, I did so because it was the right thing to do. As her two little brothers have joined the reading circle, we've probably read hundreds if not thousands of books over the years. I never realized how much I would enjoy and even learn in the process. I gave my more in-depth lessons learned from Pinocchio here, but here are some shorter lessons I have learned:

• Disney's Princess Stories have shown me that being faithful in       daily work with a sweet attitude gives you a much better chance of getting a prince than competing for the kingdom. (i.e. A shattered glass slipper is much preferred to shattering the glass ceiling! :-)

• Amelia Bedelia has taught me that a good cook trumps an intelligent woman most of the time.

• The Berenstain Bears has taught me just how annoying a know-it-all mom is especially when she treats her husband like one of the kids.

• Curious George has taught me that a child left to himself WILL get in trouble.

• Arthur has taught me exactly what I DON'T want sibling relationships to look like in our home.

• Ramona has given me a glimpse through my child's eyes at some of the perplexities of their world.

• Dr. Seuss has shown me that it's o.k. to be a little silly. (Just beware of letting strange cats in!)

• Little Critter has shown me that every family is special.

What about you? What have you learned from reading to your children?


Photo Credit

No Apologies!

I enjoy the study of apologetics, defined by the dictionary as the branch of theology concerned with the defense or proof of Christianity. I think it is important to know what we believe and why. Voddie Baucham's humble but intellectual speaking;  Josh McDowell's awesome testimony and clear arguments; Janet Parshall's articulate ability to deal with controversial issues; Ryan Dobson's wit and sense of humor as a new voice to teens: all these are experts in the field which I admire (though I don't necessarily agree with everything they say). I plan to teach my children how to defend what they believe.

However, the term apologetics seems unfortunate. It is also defined as "offering or expressing an apology or excuse". While the Bible does say to be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks, I'm wondering why we feel the need to apologize or give an excuse for believing the Truth. The question running around in my mind is, "Why does the burden of proof always have to be on us?"

When people ask me why I choose to dress modestly, I never ask them why they feel comfortable in exposing their bodies to the world. If I did, they would probably just shrug and say, "I like the style of my clothes" or "I don't want to look different". So, instead of giving them a Scriptural thesis on modesty, would it be o.k. for me to just say, "I like the look of modest clothes" or "I don't want to look like everyone else" ?

When people ask me why we choose to homeschool our children, why do I feel I have to pull out my "credentials" and "reasons" as if apologizing for our lifestyle. I never require them to tell me how much education their children's teachers have or if they think the kids are being positively socialized or if they can read well by age 5.

When people ask me why I don't work outside the home like them, why can't I just reply, "Because staying home with my kids fulfills me. It is the best scope for my talents to be used" ? Like they do.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we should check our brains at the door and live by how we feel about an issue on a given day. But every once in awhile, maybe we should just stop before we get into a long explanation. Because most of the people who ask don't want to know anyway. Debate is not helpful to the cause of Christianity most of the time. At least not when it's engaged in by you and your neighbor or relative.

The truth is when I feel I must apologize for my lifestyle, it isn't really in my heart, but it's just a list of rules or dos and don'ts. If the law of God is in my heart, I can reply just like those who disagree with me:
 "It just feels right to me." "I like it this way." And mean it.

If you want to know what I believe, I'll tell you. I'll even tell you why if you really want to know. But don't expect any apologies from me, because God has written on the table of my heart His law, and no excuse is going to erase it!

Are You Friends With Your Kids?

Two innocent comments made to me this week hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks--make that two tons of bricks.

One was in an e-mail I got from a friend of mine. She said she was going to spend some time with her friends that day, and I realized she was referring to her two little ones under the age of 5.

I love my children, don't get me wrong, but do I really--deep down--think of them as my "friends"? Why not? Other than my husband, they are the closest people to my heart, yet I never think of them as friends. We do things together, but I don't know how I often I consciously enjoy those things. I mostly just play with them--occasionally--to be a "good mom".

As I was pondering this in my mind and becoming more and more convicted, I heard one of my own little ones make the comment, "You're a busy mommy!" Not a fun mommy, not a loving mommy, not even an angry or mean mommy (whew!), but a busy one.

Life--and this blog which mirrors my life and many of yours--is about relationships. Yet, it's so easy to put our children into a separate category altogether. I'm asking the Lord to help me to make better friends with my children and to change that "busy" adjective in their mind. I want to spend time with them, love them, be with them.

Because I love them.

Because I love my friends.

Staying Afloat When Life is Drowning You

Gasping....choking....sputtering, then drawing a deep breath only to have your face drenched with a new supply of water.

Ever felt like this? O.K., maybe not literally, but has life left you feeling like you're drowning emotionally? It could be big like a job loss, serious illness or a family tragedy. It could be small like being stuck in a job you don't like, financial pressures or the constant daily demands of small children. Whatever it is, I think all of us can relate to that "drowning" feeling.

What can we do? How can we keep from succumbing and totally giving in to the pressures placed upon us? I'm sure no one has learned this perfectly, no matter how experienced, and most of what is learned is in the midst of the trial. However, here are a few things you can try if you find yourself in this situation:

• Cling to the Sustainer of Life. You knew that was coming since this is a "Christian" blog, but how do we do this? That's probably the secret--we don't do anything--we simply trust. Trust that all is under God's control and we are simply a small piece of the puzzle to be placed when and where He wants us. 
• Reach out to those closest to you. The ones that are right beside you, drowning with you, need your comfort and encouragement as you reach out to them. You may not have anything to give, but simply being there as one who is intimately acquainted with the issue as they are, gives help. Keep each other afloat while waiting on the Life Saver. 
• Spend time in the Word. I will admit, I have been through things that have so drained me that I couldn't seem to get any help from the Word of God. I would faithfully read, but nothing would seem to speak to my situation. I once heard a lady who teaches children say that they are like a basket being filled with water. The basket will not hold the water, but the more water that filters through it, the cleaner the basket becomes. If we think of ourselves as baskets and the Bible as the water, we can keep running the water through us and eventually, it will cleanse us from our pain and hurt.
• Check how you got to be here. Sometimes, the situations in which we find ourselves are the direct results of our lack of wisdom and seeking God's face beforehand. In these cases, there may be something we can do to reverse our problem. If not, we can only leave it at Jesus' feet, admitting our failure, seeking forgiveness if necessary and claiming His grace to remedy it. 
• Talk with those who have been there. In some tough situations in my life, the most effective encouragement was the presence of someone who had been in my situation and knew exactly what I was feeling. Talking wasn't even always necessary--just knowing that they were there and understood meant so much. 
• Resolve to get out of the water and to reach out to others that are "drowning". There are many others that are experiencing your difficulty or worse. As soon as possible, and with the help of the Lord, get to the safety of solid ground, but with the purpose of remembering what it was like and being a help and encouragement to others.

If you're going through something tough in your life, feel free to e-mail me so I can pray for you. We Christian women need each other's prayers! God bless you richly today!

Celebrating Love on Valentine's Day

It's almost Valentine's Day. This will be our twelfth to celebrate our love. Just another commercial holiday? Perhaps. But we embrace every opportunity to celebrate. Why? Isn't is just about "fluff" and romance and forcing husbands to buy expensive gifts for us? Maybe--if you're looking at it from Hallmark's perspective. However, we choose to celebrate something a little deeper--it's called LOVE.

Yes, I know. Another over-commercialized term. However, this is what real love means to me---to us.

• Real love is knowing as I look into my husband's eyes that I would gladly die for him and to live without him would leave me ripped and torn because we are one.
• Real love is realizing as I gaze into my baby's face that I have already gone through the valley of the shadow of death for her and would do it all over again.
• Real love is experiencing a relationship with a Savior Whose heart bled for my sin while I turned my back on Him, yet met me with open arms when I found that I could not live without Him.

You see, love has a lot to do with dying. Dying to my own wishes to please another. Sacrificing my whims and plans to realize the dreams of someone else. Giving up my own rights to make another's world right. A life of service rather than a life of satisfaction.

Will you find this on a greeting card? Probably not. It wouldn't sell. Perhaps because real love is priceless. Try it, and you'll find something no money can buy.

Have a Happy Holy Valentine's Day! Celebrate love!

January Wrap Up

 Yes, I know, a week of February is already gone, but I still have some links and books to share with you from January. I've been asking a lot of questions lately, so I thought I'd let you all relax and do some reading elsewhere. :-)

For Wives:

• Jess at Making Home hits the highlights of Alistair Begg's thought-provoking sermon, How to Avoid Marital Failure
• Cindy Carrier's Stop to Get Gas When You Don't Feel Like It appears At the Well...In Pursuit of Titus 2

For Mothers: 

• Tiffany at Simply Modern Mom shares 6 At-Home Activities for Toddlers and Pre-School Kids
• Steady Mom gives us 5 Reasons Why You Need Steady Routines
• Amy at New Nostalgia gives us some tips for Grocery Shopping with Kids

For Women:

• Sarah Mae @ Like A Warm Cup of Coffee paints a beautiful, poetic portrait of A Woman Who Perseveres
• Melinda at Coming Clean: Confessions of An Imperfect Parent interviewed Courtney from Women Living Well in a post aptly named A Woman Living Well where Courtney shares some of her tips on living well.

Some Recipes:

• Brown Sugar Shortbread and Nutty Peach Crisp @ Taste of Home
• 1 Chicken = 3 Meals and Oatmeal Cream Pies @ Nourshing Heart & Home

Books I Read:

Holy Habits: A Woman's Guide to Intentional Living (Mimi Wilson, Shelly Cook Volkhardt)
This was an excellent book for my spiritual life. I learned things about God that I had never seen before! I was looking for a list of habits to follow but was pleasantly surprised instead to find myself drawn closer to God through the wisdom of Mimi and Shelly.

The Power of Less : The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life (Leo Babauta)

From Clutter to Clarity : Simplifying Life from the Inside Out (Nancy Twigg)
These two books were interesting in that they both were on simplifying life, but from two different perspectives. While Leo's book had some good tips to follow, he divorces success in life from the help and strength of God and rather points to one's self as supreme. Nancy did a beautiful job of showing how to simplify our lives, homes, and finances through Christ in Whom we can do all things.

Master Your Metabolism (Jillian Michaels)
Never Say Diet (Chantel Hobbs)
These two books on a similar subject, a healthy lifestyle, were also from two different points of view. Jillian counts her success by her own hard work and discipline while Chantel acknowledges God's help in her life of discipline while losing 200 pounds. Jillian's book was helpful from the standpoint of understanding our metabolism and I like her method but not her reason for health (see the rest of  the title if you want to know what I'm talking about!). Chantel's plan is very doable for those who want to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I enjoyed reading both of their stories which they candidly share in these books.


And that's about it! I met some of my goals in January and thank the Lord for His help and answered prayers. I'm looking forward to a great "rest-of-February"! Feel free to share your own wrap-ups in the comments or in an e-mail. I love to hear from you!

Are You an Approval Junkie?

I look out anxiously at the mass of people and nervously straighten my new dress. I sit in a row of other nervous students clutching sheet music or desperately wishing they were. I scan the crowd, my stomach jumping. There! In the third row from the front are my parents and my young siblings, proudly supporting my first piano recital. I relax just a little. Then, a nudge. It's my turn! Determined to get on with the inevitable, I fly across the stage as if projected from my seat. I give it my all, plunking away with abandon the all-too-familiar song. As soon as I hit the last note, I fly back to my seat, eager to get the attention on to someone else. As the next beginner student plods through his piece, I notice my teacher in the seat ahead of me jotting notes beside a list of names. I do a double take--beside my name. It says something about my playing too fast. I sit later during the awards ceremony as the trophies are given away and go home with a participation certificate.

Photo Credit

Year after year, that's all I received, a participation certificate. In my thinking, I had failed. My teachers did not approve of my performance.

Silly, wasn't it? It wasn't until recent years enjoying a piano concert that I realized that approval didn't matter. No, I couldn't play like the master on the stage. But I didn't need to. Though I love the piano, performing for the masses isn't my calling in life. I use my talents, limited though they may be, to awaken a love for music in beginner students and to accompany the congregation and some soloists at my church. I think that realization was the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

Does it matter if everyone approves of the way I live my life? No, that's not even possible, so why try to please anyone but my Savior?

Does it matter if someone doesn't approve of how I look or what I weigh? No, not at all, because my physical body is just the outer wrapping for my eternal soul.

Does it matter if my parenting style isn't met with approval? No, the only One I answer to is my Lord.

Does it matter if you don't like my writing? Well....maybe a little....After all, who else would I write to? (I guess I need a little more work.)


How about you? Do you seek the approval of people or the approval of the Lord Who loves You more than You could ever understand? Tell me about your journey to breaking "approval addiction".

Do Men Compare Themselves to Each Other?

"Does this shirt make my muscles look too small?"
"Did you see his hair? I'd give anything to have hair like that!"
"I can't have him coming into my garage! He'll see how messy it is!"

Can you even remotely imagine any man in your life making these statements? I can't. It is very laughable to think of any of these things coming out of the mouth of any male in my life. It seems that comparing oneself with other people is a distinctly feminine trait. Or is it?

What if men just aren't as vocal as we are? (That should go without saying--except I'm a woman, so....) What if they just don't "share" as much as we do (how about at all)? What if they really are looking at the other men around them and thinking, "I just don't measure up." ?

While I highly doubt most men are as worried about their appearance as we are about ours, let's just suppose that men do compare:

We say, "Oh, I just got back from Sally's house. It is gorgeous! I wish I had the money she had to decorate like that!"

He hears, "I wish you made more money so I could have a beautifully decorated home like Sally's."

Or what about this?

We say, "I was talking to Tammy at my high school reunion last night. Her husband is a cardiologist. Can you imagine the money they must have?"

He hears, "I wish I had married someone with a higher-paying job like Tammy did."

Or possibly...

We say, "Carrie's husband got her a dozen roses and took her out to eat in a limousine for Valentine's Day? Isn't that romantic?"

He hears, "You never do anything that romantic for me. You don't really measure up as a husband."

You can imagine the implications this could have on your marriage, even if I'm only half right. I mean,  how many of us want to hear our husband bragging on his best friend's wife's looks, organizational skills or decorating expertise? Perhaps this is another spin on the Golden Rule?

Can I challenge us to use our great vocal talents (stop snickering, husbands!) to change things up a bit? How about this:

"Honey, I appreciate how well you provide for us. You work really hard and I'm proud of you!"

or

"Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday. Your gifts always make me feel special."

 Those are just examples, of course. Be creative! You might even comment on those muscles or the neat garage (if you are so lucky).Don't expect him to say much. Just rest content in the fact that maybe his ears are hearing:

"I value you as my husband and no one else could ever measure up to you!"