The Morning Search

I hear the inevitable bump on wooden floorboards and the sound of running feet. No matter where I am in the house, I know that my oldest son is now awake. I smile to myself as he makes his search. The pattering feet go into my bedroom. Then I hear him investigate the bathroom. He stumbles down the stairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes until he finds me and greets me with a big bear hug.

In the midst of his exuberance, I almost don't hear the soft creak of footsteps on the bunk bed ladder in the room above me. I smile again as I hear the tiptoeing steps of my daughter. She comes quietly down the steps, with a little more forethought as to where I will be this time of morning. "Good morning, Mommy," she says, as she snuggles into my lap next to her brother.

I listen again as a little voice calls, "Ma!" I hear springs bouncing as my youngest stands up in his crib, waiting. I wait, too, and smile as he repeats, "Ma!" Up the stairs I go to retrieve him as he hands me his empty bottle in a business-like way, then reaches his arms to me. "Ma!"

Why do I smile? Because I know how they feel. As the first rays of sun announce a new day, I wake: often running, at times tiptoeing, sometimes bouncing. Yet, my thoughts go to my Father. Where is He? I must find Him, talk with Him, feel His embrace. How I need Him! I cannot start this day alone. I reach out to Him--my Father.

And He smiles.

How to Break the Cereal Habit

I know, you all are reluctant to read this after hearing about our green smoothies! I realize not everyone is as weird as I am (and my kids are), so these will be more "normal" suggestions.

If, after reading the title, you are wondering why to break the cereal habit--that is out of my league. I can point you to dozens of good blogs on healthy, nourishing foods and why (most kinds of) cereal isn't one of them, but I'm not getting into all that here.

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If, however, you are convinced that cereal is not the best food for your family or you just want some alternatives that fill little tummies (or..ahem...larger tummies) for more than an hour after breakfast, read on.

• Granola. This is an awesome breakfast food that tastes 10 times better than cereal and can be adjusted to whatever food budget you have. If you or your kids are used to cereal, I would definitely start here in making changes because you will never want to go back. For a cheap and quick version, use quick oats, brown sugar and butter, a little cinnamon and salt and bake 10 minutes. For a healthier version, use rolled oats instead of quick oats and cook longer. For a less sugary version, use honey. Depending on your family's preferences you can add nuts, dried fruit or coconut. My kids like it plain, which is cheaper, so I don't argue. :-) 
• Parfaits. Once you have your granola made and in the pantry, you don't have to just use it as cereal. My kids love vanilla yogurt layered with berries and granola. We call it "Better Than McDonald's Parfaits." And they really are. If you use frozen fruit, just set it out for 30 minutes to an hour before serving.
  
• Eggs. Go ahead and do mostly egg whites if you want less fat and cholesterol, but we love eggs. We prefer free-range brown eggs, but I never pass up a 79-cent egg sale. You can do anything with them--fried, scrambled with salsa (or not), frittata, omelet, hard-boiled, etc. We even put them on English muffins or biscuits sometimes with cheese. (Yes, we refer to them as "Better than McDonald's" too.)
• Oatmeal. No, not the soggy kind--the kind with steel cut oats. It is delicious and the only way we'll eat it anymore. I love this crockpot recipe for them when I want to have breakfast already cooked when we wake up.

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• Biscuits. If we get tired of the above breakfasts and the toast we usually have with the eggs, we have "Top Your Own Biscuits" breakfast. Now, I'm still not great at homemade biscuits, but these Biscuit Muffins are easy, so I can throw these together quickly and they turn out the same every time. I set them out with butter, cinnamon sugar, fruit spreads and honey; and we each try our favorite "toppings".
  
• Fruit. I try to have fruit with every breakfast just because it's so delicious (not to mention good for us). Bananas are easy if you need something to take with you. Grapefruit is good if you're sitting down to eat. We love fried apples on our oatmeal or just by themselves. If I have a little more room in the food budget, we get a big box of clementines--yes, the little cuties. (No, seriously, that's what they're called.) Whatever is in season works great and tastes the best.
• Pancakes or Waffles. If we have a little more time, I will make these with just a plain, basic recipe (mixes would defeat the purpose ;-). It's best to make your own syrup or use pure maple syrup. The other stuff is just high fructose corn syrup with colors and flavors in it.

Now, I know that a lot of these are still sugary breakfasts. We'll get to cutting out sugar...someday. However, I still think an ingredient list with butter, brown sugar, cinnamon and oats beats this:

Rice, wheat gluten, sugar, defatted wheat germ, salt, high fructose corn syrup, dried whey, malt flavoring, calcium caseinate, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), alpha tocopherol acetate (vitamin E), reduced iron, niacinamide, pyridoxine hydrochloride (vitamin B6), riboflavin (vitamin B2), thiamin hydrochloride (vitamin B1), vitamin A palmitate, folic acid, and vitamin B12

You're welcome to disagree, but you're also missing out on some real. good. food. I'd share mine with you, but my kids just polished off the last of the granola.

Does Your "Stairs Rule" Reflect Your Parenting Style?

We encourage babies to climb stairs in our house. Well, maybe encourage is too strong a word, but we do allow them to explore the steps. I know that not all parents do this. My sister-in-law, for example, painstakingly disciplines her little ones when they go towards the steps.

 

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I was thinking of these differences the other day and realized that this small difference in parenting styles just may carry over to the rest of our philosophy with our children. Before you slap a "bad parent" label on me, let me explain.

When a little one starts to go up the stairs in our household, we tell them to "wait for Mommy (or Daddy)" and we go behind them. If they slip on the steps, we are right there to catch them. That way, in our thinking, they are getting practice for going up the stairs when they truly are ready to do it on their own.

My sister-in-law and her husband feel that the steps are dangerous and should be avoided completely until their children are able to navigate them alone. I'm not sure exactly how they have made the transition, but all of their children are now able to go up and down the stairs perfectly fine by themselves.

Am I going to give you the correct parenting technique for teaching your children to go upstairs? Of course not! Besides the fact that I am in no position to give advice, each family has different values and goals for their children. Of course, as Christian parents, all of us want to train our children and help them get to Heaven. The end result is clearly in mind. The path to take is much more individual.

Our "upstairs with parent behind you" philosophy is our path for all of our parenting. We feel that a child needs to experience real life challenges with the parent alongside to protect or rescue as needed.

My sister-in-law's philosophy is to protect the child from real life until they are prepared for it, then send them to navigate it themselves.

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Other parents I know would take a "no help at all on the stairs" approach and still others would carry their children up the stairs even after they are able to do it themselves.

The timing of when your child goes upstairs alone is immaterial. The timing of when they are allowed to experience real life may be important. I cannot say which is correct. That is between you and God.

Incidentally, the only time one of our babies has fallen down the steps has been when he or she was in my husband's or my arms. Although the child gave a fearful cry, the only bumps and bruises gained were on one of us.

It kind of reminds me of my Heavenly Father--through all the fear of falling, I can rest on Him because He was bruised for me. My stair climb to Heaven must always be with my Father beside me, ready to steady me if I slip.

What about you? What is your "stairs rule"? Does it reflect how you parent your children in other areas?

Does the Golden Rule Apply to Marriage?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." You have probably heard it quoted a million times by Christians and non-Christians alike. We know what it means, at least on an intellectual level. We even try to practice it with our friends and family members most of the time. But, I've been wondering lately, do we practice it in our marriages? Do we really treat our spouses, the ones that are closest and dearest to us, as we want to be treated ourselves?

• Do you want your husband to roll his eyes when talking to his friends and tell them how you are so irresponsible with the money and you shop all the time? 
• Would you like him to tell them you are just like a big kid and how he has to keep you in line so you'll be responsible? 
• Do you want him to cut you off when you're talking and correct you? 
• Do you want him to question your discipline in front of the kids and tell you how you should have done it?
• Do you want him to bug you endlessly about how the laundry really needs caught up and would you do it today because he can't stand it anymore?
• Do you want him to complain when you sit down with a book or in front of the computer because you need to spend time with the family instead of doing something you enjoy sometimes?

I think most of these actions from our husbands would cause us along with all of our friends to rise up in indignation at how he isn't respecting our needs or how he doesn't understand us. Yet many of us find it easy to say and do similar things to our husbands. Maybe it's time for a little old-fashioned "do unto others". What do you think?

The Veteran Mother's Secret to A Great Day

Sometimes it would be bath water running or dishes clinking in the kitchen sink or, occasionally, the sound of a vacuum cleaner that would wake me from a sound sleep. Wake isn't exactly the word to use because I would be back in slumber-land directly. It was more of a stirring that allowed me to acknowledge what was happening and to pick up where I left off in my dream in the next second.

The what was my mother beginning her day; the when was 4:00 A.M. I always thought she was crazy to wake while the rest of the world, including the sun, slept. Even when I got married and my husband left for work within that 4:00 hour, I would head back to my cozy bed as soon as he drove away.

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It wasn't until I had children that I realized the value of those early morning hours. For a long while, I realized it from underneath my covers and with the first shriek of a child, awake and needing attention, thus doing nothing about it. Those days of "hit the ground running and don't stop until you fall back into bed many hours later" are stressful, to say the least.

There are certain benefits of early rising to which I, as a mother of younger children, can attest:

• Quiet. If you're a mother, you understand the value of complete, delicious, unadulterated silence (whether or not you've actually experienced it).
  
• Time. You know all those things you never have time for? This is the time you've been craving for devotions, exercise, decluttering, cleaning, planning, hobbies, reading, or whatever else you might want to do.
• Unhurriedness.When you know the most pressing issues of the day are still a few hours in the future, you can relax with a cup of coffee or take your time on a morning walk to observe nature or even stop to hum a tune as you prepare a special treat for the kids' breakfast later. The hurry will catch up to you sometime between the first child's waking and the last one's sleeping sighs, but for now...you can be as slow as you would like.

Does it sound too good to be true? I admit it is not a perfectly scheduled free time nor can I guarantee your child will not wake when you do. However, the chances are your children sleep sometime (if they are older than 6 months at least), and you only need to wake before they do.

Sound simple? Yes.

Easy? No.

It takes determination and lots of practice. I still haven't made it to a 4 A.M. or even a 5 A.M. rising time. However, when I taste the beautiful solitude of those morning hours, even a confirmed night owl like me can turn in just a trifle earlier and drag out of bed the next morning knowing the benefit I will receive.

A beautiful and godly older woman in our church has risen at 5 A.M. for years and is claimed to have said that to wake up at 7:00 is to have half of her day wasted. She has seven now grown children. I think I'm beginning to understand.

Further Reading on Rising Early:

• Establishing a Morning Routine @ Passionate Homemaking
• Conversion Experience: How a Night Owl Became an Early Bird and Liked It @ Small Notebook

What about you? Have you made the transition to rising early? How has it helped your day?

Cleaning Routines for Mothers of Little Ones

I am always intrigued by magazine articles, blog posts and book titles that tell you how to clean your house in 15 minutes a day or how to clean your entire house in 2 hours a week. I read the tips and think that those must be great goals, but the truth is, I have no idea how long it takes me to clean my house. At least I haven't been able to time it for the last 7 years. Here are some cleaning routines I have followed over the years:

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 PREGNANCY PLAN:

• Get an early start by dragging out of bed at noon.
• Grab a few crackers to stave off nausea.
• Head to the bathroom and spray cleaner on the surfaces. 
• Run from bathroom quickly and grab a few more crackers.
• Decide to tackle the dishes instead.
• Begin scraping food off of plates from night before (when you were too tired to do them after dinner).
• Grab another cracker and begin picking up clutter in the living room where there are no scented things.
• Forget that...you've found your husband's balled-up work socks under the couch.
• Grab a cracker and sit down in the living room chair to catch your breath. Bending over that much is exhausting while navigating around a beach ball-shaped belly!
• Wake up to your husband shaking you and wondering why there is soapy, cold water in the kitchen sink and orange cleaner film all over the bathroom. And by the way, what's for dinner?
  
• Mumble something less than complimentary under your breath and audibly ask a question of your own, "Do we have any crackers left?"

BABY PLAN:

• Go to bed with alarm set for a bright and early start on cleaning day. 
• Wake up to feed, change and comfort baby 11 different times.
• Drag out of bed anyway (what discipline!) when alarm goes off.
• Begin dusting furniture farthest away from baby's room. 
• Oops! You weren't the only one the alarm clock woke up. 
• Sit in chair to feed baby.
• Put baby in swing and finish dusting.
• Get out vacuum cleaner and turn on.
• Oops! The vacuum cleaner scares baby. 
• This step changes for each baby: 

1. Baby #1- Immediately turn off vacuum and hold baby until baby stops crying. Put the vacuum away and promise never to use that "mean, old thing" again.
2. Baby #2 - Hold baby on one hip and vacuum with one hand.
3. Baby #3 - Finish vacuuming the living room and realize that baby has been crying. You couldn't tell with the noise from the other two children drowning out the vacuum.

TODDLER PLAN:

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• Clean bathroom while stopping intermittently to remove bath toys from the toilet, change an outfit which has been doused in mop water, and call poison control on how much shampoo is safe for a 14-month-old to consume.
• Wash dishes with child hanging on your skirt half the time and sitting on the counter spraying dishwater all over the kitchen the other half.
• Dust the living room, stopping 6 times to bring toddler back down the stairs and say "No Stairs!" again.
• Fight child for the vacuum cleaner then decide that perhaps it is time to teach them to do chores after all. 
• When child is finished playing with vacuum, finish vacuuming and put vacuum in closet. 
• Go back to living room to admire your clean house and find playdough in small pieces all over floor from the older two children.
• Stifle a scream as one of them says, beaming, "Mama! Look what I made! I made it special just for you."

Child's Play

Curly head flouncing and chin in the air, she stomps up to the teacher affecting her best imitation of an injured puppy dog. "Teacher! Teacher! The boys are being mean to me." Distracted, the teacher looks in the direction of the wild group diving off the sliding board.

"Are they hurting you?"
"Nooooo."
"Did they say unkind things to you?"
"Nnnnnooooo."
"Well, what are they doing to be mean?"
"They won't let me play what they're playing."

We laugh at the antics of children. The teachers and mothers among us roll our eyes in memory of a similar situation. Perhaps we were the little girl in the fictional account above. Maturity will fix it. The little girl will grow up and quit demanding what she should be well able to negotiate or abandon herself. Or will she?

The trouble is....many of us don't grow up. We grumble about the "man's world" around us and determine to compete. The men shrug and step aside (or protest and become labeled). Then, we change the rules to our liking and call it equality. We join their armies to be like them and get special treatment because, after all, we're women.We compete with them and if we lose, we call it unfair. If we win, we call it an achievement. We claim we want to have equal opportunity, but the truth is we want to be their superiors.We want to best them.

So what are the "boys" doing all this time? They let the little girl join them. They temper their enthusiastic revelry to accommodate her. They are made to protect her, to free her for what she is made. They push those inclinations aside in the face of a stern Teacher and pull out the guns, chasing after her as one of them. They shoot: "Gotcha!" She shoots back. This was meant to be a competition for the girl.Now it becomes a competition against her. She can compete and she can win. But what will she have to lose in the process?

What kind of competition is involved in your marriage or relationship with the men around you? Do you let them compete for you or do you compete against them? Does it even matter? I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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Putting God First This Year

In keeping our priorities straight for the year 2010, I thought it would be fitting to begin the year with a post about the most important Priority of each Christian woman's life--God. Having a consistent, productive devotional life is not something to be figured out once and repeated over and over. It is constantly changing and unique to each person. That's because it is a relationship not a duty as so many of us fall into believing. Here are a few tips and links to help us get started in the right direction as we consider God first this year:

• Plan it. Our time with God will not just happen. This simply means having a certain time and place where we meet with God. If it's not possible to do it the same time and place every time, it can at least be scheduled in on the calendar so that it will be part of the day.
  
• First things First. In Ordering Your Private World, George MacDonald tells us that it is important not to arrive before God's throne "emotionally breathless". To keep from doing this, he journals his thoughts first as a way to empty his mind. For some, it is hard enough to be awake, especially if our devotional time is first thing in the morning. In that case, it may be easier to take the advice of Anne Ortlund in Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman. She spends the first hour waking up, exercising and dressing for the day so she is at her best when it is time to meet with the Lord.
• Begin with Prayer. This is not a set-in-stone rule, but I have found it helpful because it is easy to read your "assigned" reading for the day, blurt out a few quick words to the Lord and move on without really worshiping Him.
• Praise First, Petition Later. If I fail to spend the first part of my prayer time praising, I will get to the end of prayer and realize that I have done all the talking and that I have focused mostly on myself and my needs. Focusing on Him in unhurried, adoring praise is the most precious way to talk with the Father.
• Read the Word according to your needs. I realize there is great value and importance in having a regular Bible reading schedule and sticking to it. However, sometimes I have been at my lowest, needing something from God and have found my daily reading to be the genealogies in the Old Testament. I have a little emergency plan set up where if I need extra wisdom for a certain situation, I add in the Proverb of the day. If I need encouragement or help in praising the Lord, I add in a Psalm or two.
• If you miss a day, don't give up! If your husband were to go on a business trip and be gone for several days, you would not give up on the relationship (I hope!). You would eagerly anticipate his return and contact him in any way you were able while waiting to see him again. Our relationship with God is much the same way. If circumstances keep us from having our planned quiet time, instead of growing discouraged, we can pray in snatches during the day or take 5 minutes here and there to read a verse or two. Then, we can eagerly anticipate the morning (afternoon, or evening) when we can once again sit at his feet.
  

Related Links:
Bible Reading Plans @ Women Living Well Blog
Tips for Mommy Devotions

Establishing a Devotional Life: Baby and Toddler Edition
My Daily Bread @ awake
Facing the Demands of "Me Time" @ Pursuing Titus 2

This post took 26 minutes to complete and is part of the Steady Mom's 30 Minute Blog Challenge.