What is Joy?

Note: In the spirit of using computer time wisely and remembering God, my home and family are my first priorities, I am participating in Jamie's 30 Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom today. I am starting this post at 9:44 P.M. We'll see how I do!

I have been thinking and planning the upcoming year for my personal life and for this blog. I appreciate your input on what kind of posts you want to see. Let me remind you, if you haven't voted yet, please click through to the blog and cast your vote at the top of the sidebar. I am planning and preparing for a joy-filled year.

As you know, JOY is our goal here on Joy Ever After. So, my thoughts have been lately, "What exactly is joy? What exactly am I planning when I say I'm planning a joy-filled year? Am I being a hypocrite when I talk about joy on the blog and don't feel very joyful at a given moment?"

I came across one of the best definitive statements about joy just this last week. David Seamands in his book, Healing for Damaged Emotions, describes it like this:

 Joy is an internal word which has to do with relationships, not circumstances, not happenings. Joy is the inner calm at the eye of the storm; feelings can be stormy, but there can also be an inner sense of rightness to the will of God.

In the priorities of our lives, God and our families should come first, no matter what our station or circumstance. Being in the center of God's will as it leads directly into Heaven is the very core of a joyful life. And, those ideas form the basis of this blog and my writing.

How does this work out practically? When everything falls apart around us--you have been there as have I: dishes piled in the sink, laundry overflowing in the laundry room, children fighting, clutter strewn about the living room, baby screaming at the top of his lungs, husband asleep on the couch, dinner burning in the oven and someone knocking at the door--there is an inner sense that we are doing exactly what God wants us to do. It is He that gave us those husbands, children and homes for which to care. We may not be enjoying the circumstances of the moment, but that "inner sense of rightness" prevails.

Through this month, I will be sharing my plans with you on Tuesdays and Fridays, just in case you want to plan for a joy-filled 2010, too. Stay tuned!

I am finishing this post at 10:05 P.M. For more 30 Minute Blog Posts, visit this link.

Thanksgiving--In Everything

A very Happy Thanksgiving to all of you here in the U.S.! God is so good. I was recently impressed by a speaker mentioning the fact that though our circumstances do not always lend themselves to thanksgiving, we are commanded to give thanks. Not necessarily for everything, but in everything. A very distinct difference.

We sang the hymn, Count Your Blessings, in church last night. I always thought of this song as a list of the wonderful things God had done for the author of the song. Not so. It is a perfect example of giving thanks in the various circumstances that come into our lives. Let's take a look...

Are you in the midst of an emotional battle?

 

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Or maybe a spiritual one?

  Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Maybe you are struggling financially?

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. 

Is your battle within a relationship?

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

WHATEVER your struggle today, this is the remedy for us all:

 

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

And, among my blessings, I count you! Thank you for reading and have a very blessed day with family and friends!

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

We have been busy getting ready for Thanksgiving! It is this coming Thursday for my non-U.S. readers. We visited my husband's family for the weekend--which explains why I did not post anything yesterday. I planned on doing school Tuesday and Wednesday, but almost panicked when I saw my to-do list, so I decided to do away with that idea! :-) You won't be hearing from me this week because I will be doing these things (and probably a few spontaneous ones as well!):

• Reading A Pioneer Thanksgiving with my kids 
• Thanksgiving Communion Service at church
  
• Taking hot cocoa, coffee, and an as-yet-undecided-quick-and-easy-breakfast-to-go (any ideas???) on our last nature walk of the season Thanksgiving morning
  
• Making my dishes for Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's
• Maintaining that delicate balance between total peace and total chaos
• Doling out Vitamin C and citrus fruits to keep sniffles at bay (hopefully!)
• Baking Christmas cookies with my sister
• Going out for a latte or some other frivolous thing while my sister is in town
• Christmas shopping---online! No Black Friday, 4 a.m. for me!

So, what am I making for Thanksgiving?

• Homemade noodles
• Cheddar Broccoli Salad
• Cranberry Salad 
• Granny Smith Apple Pie w/Honey Spiced Whipped Cream

And my contribution to Christmas cookies?

•  Peanut Blossoms
• Raspberry Ribbons

So, you see, I'm going to be a little busy! But, please e-mail me/comment about what you are making/doing/cooking/celebrating this week! I would love to hear it!


With Joy,
Jen

Weekly Wrap-Up

It has been a while since I clued you in on how our week went. This week has been pretty typical (if you can call life at our house typical!), so I thought this would be a good one to try Weekly Wrap-Up. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures this week. I'll give the highlights only...

Monday - Our fall family tradition and my attempt at doing PE with the kids: Nature Walks! We did two today for a total of about 2.5 miles. One one trail, we saw an 8-point buck. Jeff and Jeffery got pretty close to him before he trotted off into the woods. We tried jogging, but the kids tired of that pretty easily! :-)

Tuesday - Today was an at-home day and went very well due to our dependence on the Lord. We had an extra long read-aloud time and quiet time since two of my piano students had to cancel. I love new library books even if they are kids' books.

Wednesday - We started learning about the tabernacle today. The kids drew pictures of the blue, purple and scarlet curtains surrounding the tabernacle. Jessica was glad to discover she actually has a scarlet crayon.

Jeffery (my 4yo) added a new word to his current list of "mommy-needs-to-hide-a-smile-words" (along with "scamper" and "frighten"). He came running downstairs from the room in which they were all playing: "Mommy! This is absolute....absolutely...it's absolute...." I never did find out what adjective he was looking for, because I figured I needed to head upstairs ASAP. I was right. Jerrod (my 14mo) was halfway up the bunk bed ladder! Now the kids remove the ladder when he is playing in there, and the words that came to Mommy's mind were "absolutely frightening".

Thursday - This was the first school day of our lives that Jessica asked to do an extra handwriting lesson. I made the mistake of telling her we were starting cursive writing tomorrow.

The kids made a diagram of the tabernacle today and we talked about the furniture and what it meant. Both kids gave an accurate description of the French and Indian War to Daddy at supper, so we had a good history lesson today.

We left in the afternoon only for piano lessons. Can you tell I would rather be home most days? :-)

Jessica's candle that she made at our colonial village trip last week got broken and she wanted me to fix it. So, in a rare moment of creativity, I dug out some old candle tarts for which I have no warmer, melted them in a pan on the stove and poured them into a canning jar. Now she has a whole jar candle instead of the skinny little birthday candle they allowed her to make. The only problem is the house in now very fragrant. Like, headaches and stuffy nose fragrant. Oops!

Friday - I am really loving the four day weeks! Fridays are actually Fridays again and no lessons to get ready for tomorrow! We finished our study of the tabernacle by reading about how God's Presence in a cloud by day or a pillar of fire by night told the Israelites when to move on. Jessica drew a large cloud over her tabernacle picture with the word "STOP" in it.

Turns out cursive writing wasn't quite as exciting as she expected. We got A, B, and C done before frustration set in.

My plans were to go out to dinner and do my grocery shopping for next week tonight, but we decided to do homemade pizza and hang out at home instead. We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving with my in-laws over the weekend, so I was ready for an excuse to stay home one more day.

Have a blessed weekend!

For more Weekly Wrap-Ups, go here.

"I Need Thee Ev'ry Hour"

"One day as a young wife and mo­ther of 37 years of age, I was bu­sy with my reg­u­lar house­hold tasks. Sud­den­ly, I be­came so filled with the sense of near­ness to the Mast­er that, won­der­ing how one could live with­out Him, ei­ther in joy or pain, these words, “I Need Thee Ev­e­ry Hour,” were ush­ered in­to my mind, the thought at once tak­ing full pos­sess­ion of me." -Annie S. Hawks

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

Refrain

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

Refrain

Source: hymntime.com

Ever since I heard that this hymn had been written by a wife and mother like myself, I realized how pertinent it is to my everyday life--to my unique situation. I would often sing it to myself in devotions and wish I had a way to remember it through the day as a reminder.

The problem is I spend time with the Lord and enjoy His Presence, learn from Him and worship Him. Yet, after I put my devotional basket away and go on with the day's business, it is easy to forget that closeness. Noise and distraction of little ones and laundry and schooling crowd out the thoughts of drawing near and the consciousness of needing His constant help through my day.

Then, I read this post and this one and this one. It seems that everyone in the blogosphere is trying this experiment. So, I decided to try it with my own little twist.

Today, I set my cell phone alarm (since I don't wear a watch) to go off every hour. When it did, I bowed my head and thanked the Lord for His help thus far and asked Him for new strength for the next hour. Then, I gave each of my children a hug and texted my hard-working husband since he wasn't there to hug.You may not need a reminder to hug your children or tell your husband how much you love him, but I tend to have tunnel vision when I'm trying to get something done.

I can't remember what was happening every time the alarm went off. Once I was folding laundry, another time I was breaking up a fight, another time we were eating lunch, and another time we were doing school work. When my children were all having quiet time and I was having computer time, I heard the increasingly familiar alarm go off. I bowed my head and prayed, but I hope you don't think bad of me for not waking or otherwise disturbing my children!

What about you? Have you tried this? If not, do try it, and let me know how it works for you. I know my day was much more peaceful. Depending on God every. single. hour. is the best stress-buster I know!

Journey to Frugal Living

Frugality is getting popular nowadays in case you didn't notice. As a wife and mother who doesn't work for pay,  I like to gather tips to spend less and save more of my husband's hard-earned money. So, I enjoyed listening to the Focus on the Family broadcast last week with Jonni McCoy, author of Miserly Moms. I was very interested in her background of extravagance and her journey from making 55% of the household income to becoming a stay-at-home mom within 4 months.

Truth be told, I was a little disappointed. Not that Mrs. McCoy didn't have great ideas. Not that I haven't reserved her book at the library. When my mom asked me if I heard the program and my dad expressed amazement that one can make her own pancake syrup for less than 11 cents, I joked that I actually make mine for a little less because I use vanilla flavoring instead of maple flavoring and leave out the corn syrup.

I listened carefully when she promised that we could save 35% of our grocery bill by following one tip. The tip? Shop only loss leaders from the front and back of the store flyer. Excuse my own ignorance, but are there really informed Americans that do not know this? Apparently so. Gayle of the Grocery Cart Challenge mentioned that a lot of grocery shoppers don't know about or own their store's loyalty card. That seems very basic to me.

 Photo courtesy of coneslayer

Through all this, I have realized a core principle in the quest for frugal living. Everyone has their own personal journey to more simple, frugal living. To the person that visits Starbucks on the way to work every morning, Keurig K Cups might be a frugal idea, but to the person that doesn't drink coffee, that would be a very extravagant plan. To the person that goes out to eat every week, Jonni's tip for switching to pre-cooked foods in the freezer would be a frugal step. To the person that goes in to the store and shops by impulse, it is a very frugal plan to scan the loss leaders on the sale flyers.

 Photo courtesy of dmal

 I heard someone describe the difference between a trade and an art last week. A trade can be learned and achieved. An art always has something higher to learn or a level to which to attain. By this definition, I think frugality is an art. I am much more frugal than I was when my husband and I got married--I shudder to think of my wastefulness and grocery budget (or lack of one) in those early days. However, I know there are higher levels to attain when I see the bag of cheese curls in my pantry and bagged lettuce in my refrigerator.

Another aspect of the personal journey to frugal living is that each one has to decide for herself where the threshold is for her family. Some may not want to sacrifice organic foods to spend a little less in the produce department. Others may choose grass-fed beef even though it costs a bit more. On a personal note, quick cooking oats look more and more like cardboard to me, so I prefer rolled oats for my granola. Before you label me as a snob, let me remind you--it's still cheaper than the Lucky Charms I used to buy!

RELATED LINKS:
10 Ways to Save on Groceries (Without Clipping a Single Coupon) @ A High and Noble Calling
A Frugal "Real Food" Budget @ Passionate Homemaking (be sure to check out her links, too!)
Menu Planning Help from the Money Saving Mom @ Shop At Home

Politically Correct Homeschoolers

From the very beginning, I want to give my personal disclaimer: I do not practice homeschooling as a religion. I believe there is One Way to Heaven--Jesus Christ, but I believe there are many ways to a child's education. However, as a critic of homeschooling myself for many years and more so now as the critiqued, I couldn't help by make some observations at a homeschool field trip yesterday.

A key politically-correct word in our culture today is diversity. It was also the most descriptive term of the 130+ parents and kids that met at a historical settlement in our area for Home School Day. Although the public school system has all kinds of programs in effect to encourage diversity, we homeschoolers may just be a step ahead. In my small group alone, we had white, black, Hispanic and Asian children. We had some "gifted" children, some "average" children and a few that were struggling academically. Some of the parents were older than my parents and some were younger than me. Although it wasn't an issue about which we cared or discussed, some of us looked to be poor and some looked to be rich. Some families were large and others were small.

Another politically-correct term heard a lot these days is tolerance. As a product of traditional schooling, flashbacks came to me as we all met for lunch. Yeah, some kids (and parents) had on trendy clothes, but our group leader wore a plaid flannel shirt that looked like it was straight from Little House in the Big Woods. In my school days, you had to bring Kool-Aid Jammers or Capri Suns in your lunch to be "cool". The new cool today--BPA-free stainless steel water bottles--was represented by a few people. One kid brought his drink in a hospital water bottle, complete with the bendy plastic straw (definitely NOT BPA-free). Among the many other varied drink containers, I saw a few Capri Suns. No Kool-Aid Jammers, though. Red dye is definitely not cool anymore! Perhaps the best part of tolerance was that some families bowed their heads and prayed for their food and no one complained. Conversely, the pray-ers didn't complain when most of the families in the room did not bow their heads.

A few of the classic terms to generalize homeschoolers also came to my mind. Weird? Maybe: if weird means one is not a cookie cutter image of everyone else. Unsocialized? If so, all 130 of us did a good job of faking it. Academically inferior? It didn't seem like it when children were asking intelligent questions and answering math problems beyond their level in the settlement's school house. Focus only on academics? I don't think so. One mom told me her two kids were involved, respectively, in hip hop and art. Another one told me her kids took theatre near my husband's work place. As we left, one mom was headed to gymnastics and I was headed to piano lessons. One dad bragged a bit about his first and second grader that run a 7-minute mile in track and cross-country. (Homeschoolers have to go by word of mouth, since we don't have bumper stickers listing our child's achievements.)

No, none of these generalizations seemed to stick as I observed, but I did notice one thing that all of them had in common: the one thing the whole group did badly. When the staff asked them to form a single file line, they all looked around in confusion. Maybe they realize more than we adults do--children were not meant to be herded like cattle. (Does the popular term free range come to mind?)


RELATED LINKS:

• For more of my homeschool philosophy, see Not Your Typical School.

• For comic relief on the misconceptions and realities of homeschool life, see A Homeschool Family.

• Unstructured homeschoolers? See this organized homeschool mom's plan.

• Kids struggling with homeschooling? Check out these ideas.
  

From Around the Web This Week: Thanksgiving Ideas

Today one of my older posts is featured on Brag On Him Friday at Blissfully Domestic. Thanks for the opportunity to once again, brag about My Man! Just click on the link above to go there.

Starting early on Thanksgiving? Here's what I've found to help you out:

• Thanksgiving children's book ideas @ Steady Mom

• Book idea for you and me @ Passionate Homemaking

• Kitchen tip and story to prepare you for Thanksgiving Day @ Small Notebook

• Lovely dessert idea @ Scribbit

• Creative Thanksgiving Table Ideas @ Blissfully Domestic

• Free Thanksgiving Recipes E-book @ Money Saving Mom

• A Plan Ahead Guide @ $5 Dinners

Things I Love Thursday - My Vitamix

I know I have already blogged about my wonderful VitaMix here, here and here, but it still was the first thing that came to my mind when I decided to participate in Things I Love Thursday (other than my family, but I've blogged about them even more). I just thought I'd share a few neat things I've done with mine lately. I really think they ought to start paying me for advertising for them or something! :-)

When I feel like making something healthy and yummy, I go to their recipe search page. I just type in what it is I want to make. This recipe for mayonnaise is so incredibly easy, much healthier than store bought with it's 52 ingredients (give or take a few) and tastes just the same. You may be able to use a regular blender for this.We love the strawberry ice cream and the peach ice cream. We love this tomato soup recipe, too! The coolest thing is all of these can be made in less than 5 minutes. My 4-year-old knows exactly how to make a smoothie. I dump in the ingredients and he pushes the controls correctly. I don't think I bought one jar of baby food for my last baby because it was so easy to just puree what we were eating. I even put green smoothies in his sippy cup, much to my mother's chagrin. :-)

I tease sometimes that in case of a fire, this would be one of the first things I would grab. My husband is just hoping that my ancient model doesn't go bad anytime soon because they are quite pricey to replace! My next project is trying to grind flour in it. When I state this, my mother calls me the Little Red Hen. That's o.k.--I'll just "eat it myself!" :-)

Where Two or Three Are Gathered

Sunday morning, 1:00 A.M.:
I cry tears of frustration as I curl up in one corner of my kitchen. It is the farthest room from the others that are sleeping, and I don't want to disturb them. My son is very sick, struggling to breathe, panicking when he can't catch a breath. I have tucked him in bed with Tylenol to bring down the fever. In the back of my mind, fear rages. What if it's the flu? In the forefront of my mind, two thoughts struggle for prominence. Number one: He needs me and, short of a miracle that isn't forthcoming, won't be able to attend church in the morning. Number two: Our pastor is away, and I am scheduled to play the piano, sing a duet with my husband, and teach a Sunday School class in the morning service. My thoughts run to "Why are you doing this, God?" No, I'm not accusing Him. I realize He knows best. But, I'm not seeing it at all. When the tears subside, my husband assures me he will take care of details, and I finally decide to trust instead of worry, I sleep.

Later that morning:

Photo by allposters.com

Everyone has gone to church and it is just me and my boys in the house. Sunday mornings at home depress me. How can I get through a week without worshiping on the Lord's Day? When I pick up my Bible to get something from the Lord, I cannot see the words because my older son's burning little body is cuddling close to my cheek, and my baby in my other arm is determined to grasp its pages. "I needed You today, Lord! And here I am, alone and unable to worship You!", my heart complains to Him. Then, he whispers, "But you are not alone. We are here." My eyes travel to my own piano and the hymn book that rests on it. I look down at my little ones, desiring to be close to me. My desire to be close to Him doesn't abate. "Come on boys. Let's have church!" We sit at the piano, the baby hanging on to the side of the bench. "What do you want to sing?" I ask the oldest boy. "Jesus Loves Me," he rasps. I play, slowly because he is fighting to breathe, and we sing in broken syllables:

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. 

Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.

Later in the week:

The children have been up for less than an hour, and my nerves are frayed already. One particular child has had a horrible, hateful attitude towards another, and I am struggling with my own attitude. "I need time with you, Lord! I can't be patient any longer!", I cry to Him. Again, He whispers, "You are not alone. We are here." Pushing aside my frustration, I try to speak gentle reproof to the offending child. It is not long before we are all on our knees, offending child kneeling before our stuffed recliner chair, offended child perched on its arm, baby hanging on to the side and me...somewhere in between. "I'm sorry...erase the black out of my heart and come in and make it clean...help me to love..." The words of a child bring tears to my eyes and I thank the Lord once again for the promise that rings true:

"Where two or three are gathered in My Name, there am I in the midst of them."

And He is.