The Anniversary That Wasn't Supposed to Happen

Sixteen years. That's how long it's been since he quietly eased into my life, and he's been there ever since. 

Back then, they said we couldn't make it. 

"Too young." 

"Two firstborns can't get married."

 "You're throwing your lives away."

But he's not the kind of guy that listens to "can't". He responds to jeers of "Easy out!" by hitting the ball out of the park. When life knocks him to the ground, he springs up with fists flying. When boulders block the path he's taking, he turns them into stepping stones. 

Tell him he can't do something, and he'll die trying. 

Fourteen years. That's how long it's been since we ignored the unsolicited advice of many and hearkened to the counsel of the precious few that loved us best. When the Author of Love itself inscribed it into our hearts in indelible ink alongside, "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me." 

The ink hasn't blurred. It hasn't faded. Its scrawl has remained constant through multiple washings of tears and numerous incinerating trials. 

We've laughed and wept together. We've buried loved ones and birthed four. We've fallen in the dust, and together we've dusted ourselves off and kept going. We've enjoyed successes, and we've grieved failures. We've held hands on rose-strewn pathways, and we've held each other through the darkest storms. 

And, a long time ago, we stopped listening to "can't". When you tell us we can't do something, we'll die trying. 

Because the Author's footnote says, "'Til death do us part." 

Teaching Small People About Tiny People

Our church recently completed a unique drive.  It's called the "baby bottle campaign" and its purpose is to raise funds for our state's right to life organization.  The baby bottles are passed out to church families on Mother's Day, filled with change (or "soft money"), and then collected on Father's Day - drawing attention to the fact that both a mother and a father are involved in creating a child's life...and that both are invaluable in making a child's life complete.  The campaign is unique and keeps the right to life issue in the forefront of people's minds.

I receive a "mom-tips/devotional" via email from MomLife Today (a division of FamilyLife Today) and this past week one posting included some creative and sweet ways to introduce or reestablish the value of an unborn baby's life to our children.  I loved some of these ideas and thought you all might as well. These ideas could also easily be incorporated into a Sunday School or children's church setting.  Click here to read the article in its entirety, then if you would like to, feel free to share here on this posting ideas of activities you have used with your children to reinforce this concept that is so vitally important in our world today! 

Thank you to all who take the time to read this blog regularly and especially to those who take time to let us know you are out there!  May God bless you as you continue your ministries for the Kingdom and as you enjoy these hectic summer months with your families!

 

Remembering the tiniest ones,

 



Guest Post: Redefining Romance

It can be quite a challenge for a newly married woman to come to an
understanding of what romance means. Her mind is frequently full of fairy tales with a
handsome prince who can do no wrong. She cultivates visions of romantic dates,
beautiful bouquets of flowers, and a happily ever after.

Yet, very few men can live up to such a romantic vision. Even so, each man and
every husband has certain ways he demonstrates his love to his wife. The challenging
task before every wife is to learn what romance means to her husband. Rather than
holding her husband up to an ideal that he can’t meet, a wife needs to redefine romance
so that she appreciates what her husband does for her.

Release Your Husband From Your Expectations
Your husband loves you, but he demonstrates love differently than you do. It’s
easy to think of all the ways you want your husband to romance you, but your husband
may not be accustomed to those ways of being romantic. When your husband doesn’t
meet your romantic expectations, it is easy to become bitter. But this only hurts you and
your marriage.

Release your husband from your expectations. Acknowledge that romance
doesn’t have to be demonstrated in the way you want it to be. There are many different
ways to demonstrate romantic love to a spouse.

Recognizing His Cues
Learn to read your husband. Some men may give off subtle (or not-so-subtle)
clues as to when they think they are being romantic. Perhaps your husband smiles at
you a certain way when he’s demonstrating his life. Recognize that smile. Acknowledge
that when your husband smiles at you in that particular way, he’s being romantic in his
own way.

Watch your husband. Notice the small tasks he does to make your life easier.
Don’t overlook even small things your husband does. If he washes the dishes, learn to
view this as an expression of his love. If he watches the children one evening so you
can relax, thank him.

Do what it takes to learn how your husband demonstrates romance. Don’t wait
for your husband to become like a fairy-tale prince. Learn to feel loved by the way your
husband loves you.

Melinda and Carrie are 25-year-old twin sisters who have similar passions in life.  They both have a passion for encouraging women to embrace godly womanhood in whatever stage of life they are in through their blog at www.wholesomewomanhood.com.

Book Review and Giveaway: Freefall to Fly

A story. It was Jesus' means of conveying truths to us, and it is still one of the most captivating way to portray ideas. When meaning is grainy and fuzzy, a real-life illustration can bring it into sharp focus.

For Rebekah Lyons, the story she tells is of a personal nature. It is the story of her deepest fear and her highest flight. No matter what our location or circumstance, we can relate with her intense struggle as a mom transplanted from suburbia to the big city.

Searching for meaning can be elusive outside the call and will of God. Rebekah speaks to following God's call when it is difficult and crying out to Him for strength when we have none left.

I expected this book to be a bit "weighty" and difficult to read, but once I began it was hard to put it down. I cried during several parts as I related to, not the exact circumstances of Mrs. Lyons' life, but the emotion behind them.

Even though I appreciated the premise of Rebekah Lyons' story and her heart for women, I recommend the book with caution. I've seen too many women rush off to "embrace their calling" and leave their husbands, children and homes in the dust. I don't think this is the author's intention for her readers, but I would urge you read this book carefully and prayerfully.

If you would like to read the true story of a woman embracing her fear, her pain and her calling, leave a comment below. I will choose one reader who comments below to receive my review copy, graciously provided to me free of charge by the team at Handle Bar Publishing in exchange for my honest review.

The giveaway will end Saturday, May 25 at 12 midnight ET. I will announce the winner the following week.

Be Blessed!


Disclaimer: I received no compensation from Handle Bar Publishing for my review. All opinions are mine. Post may contain affiliate links.

When You Are Done With Ministry

Ministry. It's a comfortable word. It appeals to the Christian mama's sense of self-worth much in the way the word productivity speaks to the mama that is going places in her career or trying to keep a clean home. We seek for it, and if we don't have a ministry, we feel like we are useless to the Lord.

Sometimes we convince ourselves to settle right where we are and relax in the ministry we already have: the elderly neighbor, the little ones that call us Mom, the hard-working man we married, the neighborhood children with no one to look after them. That is fulfilling, meaningful servant hood with eternal purpose.

It is also hard. Yes, I said it. Ministry is not always fun. It only rarely brings affirmation and pats on the back. Real ministry isn't really about shaking hands with clamoring fans and receiving awards. Sometimes the thought snakes through my mind, "Is it really worth it?" 

My mind has been on Jonah lately. Reticent and rebellious, his ministry didn't get off to a good start. Although he finally obeyed God after a bit of a detour, it really didn't finish well, either. He ended up pouting under a withering plant while revival broke out in Nineveh. 

Idealistic visions of cuddling babies and tossing the softball with a teenager turn to sleepless nights and volleying sarcasm. The women's Bible study you begin turns into a study of the lives of others, and the cookies you lovingly baked are returned because they aren't 100% organic. Affirmations become accusations, and your very best appears to be lacking in the opinions of those for whom are spending your life.

I confess I have asked God, "Why?" "Why did you trust me with these kids, these friends, these responsibilities? I'm a total failure at ministering to them and working for You."

That's my Jonah posture. The sniveling, self-centered kind of ministry that is all about me and immediate results. However, I can't expect an eternal and transcendent God to be interested in a microwaveable ministry. He's observing over 6,000 years of history and endless years into the future. When I cry, "Nothing's happening!", He's smiling and saying, "But you don't see what I see." 

Though comforting, that thought isn't always enough to make me put on my happy face. The really hard times come. It's my attitude that matters most. Instead of a pouting Jonah, I want to assume the posture of our precious Lord. 

What ministry is more fulfilling and meaningful than the Cross? It is, or should be, the essence of all other ministry. Yet, in my mind, I kneel beside Him as He drops sweat tinged with blood. Alone, on the verge of one of the most horrible deaths known to man, with full knowledge of what His suffering would be. He doesn't ask why. He knows why. He only asks, "If it be possible, let this cup pass. But, nevertheless, Thy. Will. Be. Done."

Yes, it's about Him. About His purpose. But my favorite part? The angel.

At the nod of the Omnipotent God, he rushes to His side. Does the angel take away the pain? No, His pain is only just beginning. Does he ease His suffering, whisper encouragement? No, no words are spoken. I'm not even sure that he touched Him. His sole purpose in visiting the Savior of the world on the eve of His death is to give Him strength. 

Strength. When my ministry is lagging and I want nothing more than to sit under the plant and scowl at Nineveh, God sends strength. He holds out His Hand and says, "Get up, Child! You are influencing Eternity. Now get back out there because it's not about you."

Ministry. It's a word that has nothing to do with my self-worth. Not even close.

When Life Hurts

Today I would like to share something close to my heart.  I pray it can be of some benefit to you just as it has been to me. 

I believe I can safely assume that many of the readers of this blog have dealt with some pretty deep pain and sorrow.  You have walked through some deep valleys and been lead down some agonizingly dark paths.  Recently I read some very unique thoughts on this subject and I would like to share them with you in hopes that you will discover in them the encouragement I have found.

I, like so many others, have questioned why God would allow the heavy burden of cancer and amputation to fall into my husband’s life.  He is so good and upright.  He has lived a Godly and fully submissive life.  He doesn’t deserve such a trial! 

I have wanted so much to say it’s not fair. 

Then other times I remember other Godly men and women who have also been allowed to face suffering or hardship, and I say, well, why NOT us?  We haven’t anything on those folks.  Why should God spare us when He asked them to deal with such tragedy? 

The “why” questions of life very rarely get answers.

But I read this recently and if you’ll hang on tight with me, I think you’ll find it interesting.  It is from Ann Voskamp’s book entitled One Thousand Gifts.  I’m not very far into it, but it is fascinating! 

This is in response to a situation where the author’s husband’s brother and sister-in-law lost two baby boys to the same genetic disease within two years’ time…one of them at 4 months and one at 5 months of age.

At one point the author says to her brother-in-law, “If it were up to me…I’d write this story differently.”

She then tells us “I regret the words as soon as they leave me.  They seem so un-Christian, so unaccepting—so No, God! I wish I could take them back, comb out their tangled madness, dress them in their calm Sunday best.  But there they are…raw and real…”

Then the brother-in-law explains the perspective he maintains.  “I don’t know why that all happened…But do I have to? Who knows? I don’t mention it often, but sometimes I think of that story in the Old Testament…when God gave King Hezekiah fifteen more years of life…Because he prayed for it…But if Hezekiah had died when God first intended, Manasseh would never have been born. And what does the Bible say about Manasseh? Something to the effect that Manasseh had led the Israelites to do even more evil than all the heathen nations around Israel.  Think of all the evil that could have been avoided if Hezekiah had died earlier, before Manasseh was born.  I am not saying anything, either way, about anything…Just that maybe…maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”

“Maybe,” he says, “I guess…it’s accepting there are things we simply don’t understand.  But He does.”

Wow.  Gulp.  That’s a beautiful picture of belief in an all-wise, all-knowing, loving God…of confidence that He truly does know what is best for each of us! 

That’s my anchor in the storm.  Knowing that I may never understand but HE does.  And I can trust Him.

Do this with me, won’t you?  Picture in your mind’s eye this scenario...you are facing a large black sheet of paper, behind which is a beautiful lamp glowing with soft light.  If this piece of black paper can represent for a moment our life’s backdrop, then it might also be that punching a hole in that paper could represent a loss…a tragedy of some sort that rips deep into our souls.  As you mentally punch holes and make rips in the paper to represent the deep and painful losses you have faced, let me share with you another word picture Ann paints in her book:

“I wonder too…if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.

“To see through to God.

“That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond.  To Him.  To the God whom we endlessly crave. 

“Maybe so.”

Can you see it??? Can you see the light shining so brightly through the ripped and jagged places in our lives??  Have you seen God work in or around you through your tragic moments?  Have you seen God’s grace and power and experienced His precious peace in time of deep trial?  Does this change your perspective on those very trials?  

May we see our holes as “seeing-through-to-God-places” and may our anchors hold fast to Jesus, the only Rock worthy of our trust...

May God bless, keep, and encourage each one of you!

“It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.  The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”

(Lamentations 3:22-26)

Learning to rest in God's wisdom and love,

 

 

Guest Post: Super Mom by Sara Smith

When Jen asked if I would write a guest blog, I scrambled for ideas on what I should write about. Should I write about working and raising children, beginning a business in hopes of being able to stay home with my children, going back and forth about homeschooling, etc. Then, through the events of this past week, the Lord laid it upon my heart to write about something I struggle with daily. I call it my Super Mom Complex.

“Well, aren’t you just Super Mom.” It’s a phrase I hear once in a while, sometimes in a mean way, and sometimes as a compliment. Both grate on me. When I hear this comment, on the inside I’m thinking “Well, if you only knew what didn’t get done”, “Heaven forbid they see what my house really looks like any other day of the week”, or even worse, “Can’t they see how hard I work to do this?”

This past week was a hard and eye opening week for me. My daughter’s birthday fell during the week, so we made it a point to do something special on that day just for her. Then, because she was getting so much attention, I felt the need to get something for our son as well. We then threw her a party on the weekend for family and friends (which required driving 6 hours to pick up and return family who really wanted to be there) followed by baking treats for her to take to preschool on her next school day.

I know that list is probably normal routine for many families, but between my husband and myself, there are two full-time jobs, one part-time businesses to run, church commitments, running one child to speech therapy and preschool and the never ending everyday household chores. Did I mention I’m also nearly six months pregnant? Then it came. The dreaded “You are such a Super Mom, you deserve an award!” I smiled and said thank you, but my heart did not agree.

We all have hectic lives full of kids, projects, jobs, commitments and more. On the outside it appeared that I did wonderful things for my children this week, but the inside was bitter, resentful, and downright discouraged. I was short with my children, fought with my husband, and didn’t even once pour out my soul to my Heavenly Father.

For some reason we as women (I don’t think this is just for moms) think we can do it all, that we have to do it all. The truth, if we are living fully for Christ, is that we cannot master a thousand things for our Lord. I am a creative person and I love to make art. However, I know at this point in my life I am not going to be the next great discovered artist that will have their own wing in the Louvre. One day, in the future maybe I’ll achieve that, but mastering it now would take away from the things the Lord wants me to do.

The hardest part for me is when it concerns my children. I want to be their end all and be all. But, what service am I giving them to always rely on me and not on Christ? What service am I giving them to live in a heated environment where Mom and Dad are at odds with each other? What service am I giving them to go without something needed so Mommy can impress the company with her microscopically cleaned floors? What service am I giving my unborn child to run myself ragged to please others instead of focusing on creating a healthy and nurturing environment for him?

It all comes down to are we giving our best to the things the Lord has led us to do? If not, are we really doing the things we’ve been called to do or are we doing the things we think we need to do? If we are doing the things we’ve been called to, what is standing in our way of doing them to His glory? Spring cleaning isn’t just for the tangible accumulating clutter in our lives, it is absolutely necessary for our spiritual clutter as well.


Bio: Sara Smith

My oft neglected blog has the tagline God, family, home: Super crafty momma diva striving to be the best Godly momma and wife I can be. In a nutshell, that is me!

I currently work at a local university, teach part-time at a local Christian school, run a business (check it out - saraelizabeth.scentsy.us) and am raising two (soon to be three!) wonderful children with my couldn't be more perfect for me chosen by God soulmate.

Everything art related is of interest to me and when I can eek out a moment or two I love photography and fiber crafts. My life isn't exactly what I had planned, and while I'd LOVE to be with my children 100% of the time, I know I am where God wants me to be right now.